God's impeccable attention to detail...

WHY am I still amazed when things like this happen? You'd think by now I would be accustomed to those so-called "coincidences" that seem to happen just when I need them. But maybe that's a really good thing...I kind of like being surprised by God now and then. So, here's the story...

I've recently re-connected with a very old and very dear friend with whom I went to high school (one of the perks of being on the *insert choking sound here* 25th class reunion committee). We were co-workers in my post-college factory-work days...until he left small-town America to pursue a military career. Of course, when you're re-connecting with someone with whom you've been out of touch for 20 years, you have to play a lot of "catch-up". And, for me, that means re-living some of the details of a ten-year chapter in my life that I consider, for the most part, to be closed. But, for someone who knew me 20 years ago to understand why I am the "who" I am today (a VERY different person), it's important to me that they see at least the bare bones of the process.

Looking at the process, however, always makes me start analyzing things again--asking those "what if?" questions for which I simply have NO answers. But I still ask them. And then I get upset with myself for not having the answers that I know aren't there. Go figure.

Someone told me a few weeks ago, half-apologetically, that he'd almost forgotten that I'd ever been married--honestly, I sometimes forget it myself. Well, maybe not "forget", but I don't dwell on it. It IS primarily a closed chapter...one of those "back-story" things that was fundamental in shaping my character into the person I am today, but not actively part of the story I'm now living. But once in awhile, it jumps to the forefront for whatever reason, and I deal with it and move on. So, it's jumped to the forefront, I'm asking the same old questions again, wondering what I might have done differently, and...fast-forward to tonight:

I'm cleaning out the desk I inherited from my Gram. Don't ask me why--there was no practical purpose for it, except I opened a drawer to shove some photos in and it was messy and I started a drawer-by-drawer reorganization. I pulled a handful of papers out of one of the drawers and found, at the very bottom, a folded-up sheet of notebook paper, covered in familiar writing. It was a letter from my step-daughter, written to her dad, right before he and I separated, begging him to "SEE" me (her words)...to recognize me for the amazing treasure I was and to stop putting other things (music, work, friends, tv, etc.) before our marriage. It was also a letter from God to me. Sometimes it's just good to hear Him say "see, I AM listening and here's your answer".