Check out the pie!!
It's a beautiful thing, really. I'm going in to the new year with over 25% of my outstanding debt paid off, still completely on track to be out of debt in a year (barring any unforeseen circumstances), very little Christmas debt on my credit card (nothing I won't pay this month--unlike previous years)...and feeling like I'm missing absolutely NOTHING. Because I'm not. My focus has been on people and relationships instead of STUFF this year and it's been wonderful. I'm blessed.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Mourning to dancing...
The past few months have not been good ones for my church. In late October, our pastor resigned after confessing to "indiscretions with a female church member". At that point, I hadn't attended a Sunday morning service for a month, because I'd gotten tired of sobbing or fighting off panic attacks. Yes, it was that bad.
And it got worse after the resignation, as people who knew the story or thought they knew the story or didn't even pretend to know the story (but staunchly maintained that our former pastor was a horribly mistreated, great guy because he visited them when they were in the hospital and didn't deserve to be "fired" [wasn't] just because of a few [umm, yeah] text messages and emails and clandestine meetings) all decided to go to war with one another. Can you say "happy church family", boys and girls? Sure, you can. But you wouldn't be describing MY church.
But in the midst of the anger and hurt and deep heartache, there are strong remnants of the beautiful body...and they shine even in their time of mourning. I was part of one of those shining moments tonight.
A beautiful 13 week-old baby has been diagnosed with a digestive problem that may require immediate surgery. What did her parents do when they heard the news? They called the church and requested that people gather to pray for her tonight before she sees the surgeon tomorrow. And we did. Tonight, many of us gathered at the altar in the dimly lit sanctuary, anointed her with oil, encircled her and prayed for her healing.
And as we prayed, I felt another kind of healing taking place. This was the body, acting like a body. We weren't "in" the church, we weren't acting in whatever self-righteous way "good" church people act...we were BEING the church. And in "being", we were being healed. I stood and watched people laughing and talking and lingering long after we were done with the "business" we'd come for and sensed a spirit of joy and hopefulness that's been long-absent. It's a step, it's a beginning. It's a good beginning.
And it got worse after the resignation, as people who knew the story or thought they knew the story or didn't even pretend to know the story (but staunchly maintained that our former pastor was a horribly mistreated, great guy because he visited them when they were in the hospital and didn't deserve to be "fired" [wasn't] just because of a few [umm, yeah] text messages and emails and clandestine meetings) all decided to go to war with one another. Can you say "happy church family", boys and girls? Sure, you can. But you wouldn't be describing MY church.
But in the midst of the anger and hurt and deep heartache, there are strong remnants of the beautiful body...and they shine even in their time of mourning. I was part of one of those shining moments tonight.
A beautiful 13 week-old baby has been diagnosed with a digestive problem that may require immediate surgery. What did her parents do when they heard the news? They called the church and requested that people gather to pray for her tonight before she sees the surgeon tomorrow. And we did. Tonight, many of us gathered at the altar in the dimly lit sanctuary, anointed her with oil, encircled her and prayed for her healing.
And as we prayed, I felt another kind of healing taking place. This was the body, acting like a body. We weren't "in" the church, we weren't acting in whatever self-righteous way "good" church people act...we were BEING the church. And in "being", we were being healed. I stood and watched people laughing and talking and lingering long after we were done with the "business" we'd come for and sensed a spirit of joy and hopefulness that's been long-absent. It's a step, it's a beginning. It's a good beginning.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
"Where Are You, Christmas?"
I mentioned this song in the last post--I love the lyrics, so I thought I'd post them.
"Where Are You Christmas"
Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play
My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean
Christmas changes too
Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go
Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh
If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time
I feel you Christmas
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love
Where are you Christmas
Fill your heart with love
"Where Are You Christmas"
Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play
My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean
Christmas changes too
Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go
Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh
If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time
I feel you Christmas
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love
Where are you Christmas
Fill your heart with love
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
The Advent Conspiracy...
Hmm. THIS is an interesting way of looking at the insanity that's become the "holiday shopping season". People sometimes look at me like I have little green men sprouting out of the top of my head when I talk about Christmas spun out of control--it's beyond my comprehension that people (like me) give such wildly extravagant gifts with reckless abandon in the guise of celebrating Jesus. Anyway...check out the website if you're interested in learning more.
ADVENT CONSPIRACY
When Christ was born the empire was threatened and as a result Herod, who was one of the more powerful kings of the day, ordered the killing of all the boys two years old and under who were in Bethlehem. The reason for this was that he hoped to take out the child-King that posed a threat to his kingdom.
While we are not living under Herod’s reign, there is another empire of consumerism and materialism that threatens our faithfulness to Jesus. Jesus brought with him such an extraordinary Kingdom that is counter-culture to the kingdoms of this world.
Part of saying “yes” to Jesus means that we say “no” to over-spending. We say “no” to overconsumption. We say “no” to these things so we can create space to say “yes” to Jesus and His reign in our lives. The National Retail Federation was forecasting that Americans would spend approximately $457.4 billion at Christmas in 2006. The American Research group estimated an average of $907.00 per family to be spent at Christmas in 2006. After the Holiday we work for months to get out of debt, only to find that the presents we bought in the name of Christ furthered a consumerist mentality in us and our children and took our focus off of the greatness of Jesus. As Christ-followers, the Advent Conspiracy starts with us resisting a culture that tells us what to buy, wear and spend with no regard to bringing glory to Jesus.
ADVENT CONSPIRACY
When Christ was born the empire was threatened and as a result Herod, who was one of the more powerful kings of the day, ordered the killing of all the boys two years old and under who were in Bethlehem. The reason for this was that he hoped to take out the child-King that posed a threat to his kingdom.
While we are not living under Herod’s reign, there is another empire of consumerism and materialism that threatens our faithfulness to Jesus. Jesus brought with him such an extraordinary Kingdom that is counter-culture to the kingdoms of this world.
Part of saying “yes” to Jesus means that we say “no” to over-spending. We say “no” to overconsumption. We say “no” to these things so we can create space to say “yes” to Jesus and His reign in our lives. The National Retail Federation was forecasting that Americans would spend approximately $457.4 billion at Christmas in 2006. The American Research group estimated an average of $907.00 per family to be spent at Christmas in 2006. After the Holiday we work for months to get out of debt, only to find that the presents we bought in the name of Christ furthered a consumerist mentality in us and our children and took our focus off of the greatness of Jesus. As Christ-followers, the Advent Conspiracy starts with us resisting a culture that tells us what to buy, wear and spend with no regard to bringing glory to Jesus.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
"Into the day"...it's time
This song has been THE song of my life for over a year now...ringing true in so many circumstances. Now more than ever. The signs ARE right for the turning tide. I'm ready to step out into that light and leave the shadows and the rain behind. I'm ready for the warmth of sunshine on my face...and in my heart.
If grief doesn't give way to joy, if we linger in that place where the freeze is at the door, if the season doesn't change...then what purpose is there for tomorrow? It's over--I'm choosing the sunshine. And I'm not going alone...I'm going to drag as many with me as I can. :-)
Into The Day--Bebo Norman
You could turn a hundred years and never empty all your fears
They’re pouring out like broken words and broken bones
They could fill a thousand pages, be the cry for all the ages
And the song for every soul who stands alone
The ache of life is more than you are able
Hold on love, don’t give up Don’t close your eyes
The light is breaking through the night
Step out into the day, all the clouds and all the rain are gone
It’s over now
Step out into the sun, for you have only begun to know
What it’s all about
As the hungering dark gives way to the dawn, my love
It’s over now
Time will let the story told grow and grow ‘til it unfolds
In a way that even you cannot ignore
You can say the seasons change but never if you just remain
In a place where the freeze is at your door
What you don’t know is the signs are right for the turning tide
Step out into the day, all the clouds and all the rain are gone
It’s over now
Step out into the sun, for you have only begun to know
What it’s all about
As the hungering dark gives way to the dawn, my love
It’s over now
If grief doesn't give way to joy, if we linger in that place where the freeze is at the door, if the season doesn't change...then what purpose is there for tomorrow? It's over--I'm choosing the sunshine. And I'm not going alone...I'm going to drag as many with me as I can. :-)
Into The Day--Bebo Norman
You could turn a hundred years and never empty all your fears
They’re pouring out like broken words and broken bones
They could fill a thousand pages, be the cry for all the ages
And the song for every soul who stands alone
The ache of life is more than you are able
Hold on love, don’t give up Don’t close your eyes
The light is breaking through the night
Step out into the day, all the clouds and all the rain are gone
It’s over now
Step out into the sun, for you have only begun to know
What it’s all about
As the hungering dark gives way to the dawn, my love
It’s over now
Time will let the story told grow and grow ‘til it unfolds
In a way that even you cannot ignore
You can say the seasons change but never if you just remain
In a place where the freeze is at your door
What you don’t know is the signs are right for the turning tide
Step out into the day, all the clouds and all the rain are gone
It’s over now
Step out into the sun, for you have only begun to know
What it’s all about
As the hungering dark gives way to the dawn, my love
It’s over now
Hold on, hold on
It won’t be long
So hold on
Monday, December 03, 2007
The comfort I seek...
...is found right here.
Psalm 62
1 My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
3 How long will you assault a man?
Would all of you throw him down—
this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
4 They fully intend to topple him
from his lofty place;
they take delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
but in their hearts they curse.
Selah
5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Selah
9 Lowborn men are but a breath,
the highborn are but a lie;
if weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
together they are only a breath.
10 Do not trust in extortion
or take pride in stolen goods;
though your riches increase,
do not set your heart on them.
11 One thing God has spoken,
two things have I heard:
that you, O God, are strong,
12 and that you, O Lord, are loving.
Surely you will reward each person
according to what he has done.
Psalm 62
1 My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
3 How long will you assault a man?
Would all of you throw him down—
this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
4 They fully intend to topple him
from his lofty place;
they take delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
but in their hearts they curse.
Selah
5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Selah
9 Lowborn men are but a breath,
the highborn are but a lie;
if weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
together they are only a breath.
10 Do not trust in extortion
or take pride in stolen goods;
though your riches increase,
do not set your heart on them.
11 One thing God has spoken,
two things have I heard:
that you, O God, are strong,
12 and that you, O Lord, are loving.
Surely you will reward each person
according to what he has done.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Random quote from a random blog...
I suppose the blogger may not think his blog is all that "random"...maybe I should say "random quote from a randomly discovered blog". There. That feels better. Even though I have an uneasy feeling that may not be grammatically correct, or maybe it's just awkward, but it's late and I'm tired and really don't care. Except that it sounds weird. Anyway...this is from http://www.goodwordediting.com/ . The writer is the editor of Faith in the Workplace magazine. This is about his 3 year-old son. I laughed. Maybe you will, too.
Last night before we took the Christmas pictures, during our dinner prayer, my son acted like a three-year-old.
That’s okay, I guess. He is three after all. But here’s what that looks like during a prayer.
We all hold hands around the table, my wife, my daughter, me, and my son, in that order. We bow our heads. I usually pray:
Me: Dear God, thank you for this day and this food.
[At the mention of food, Lyle plants his nose in the mashed potatoes and makes a hog noise: “churff, churff, churff.” I try to ignore these noises.]
Me: Thank you for Mommy and the hard work she does every day. Especially thank you right now for the food that she prepared.
[Lyle lifts his head and looks at me. I know this because I can’t pray with my eyes closed at dinner for fear that something horrible will end up on the rug or the ceiling. Lyle has mashed potatoes on his chin like a beard. He laughs about this.]
Me: Thank you for CJ… and, um, Lyle. I pray that you will fill them with your Spirit and help them to glorify you in all that they do.
[That’s my standard prayer for the family. All of life is ministry. It’s an important thought to me. To Lyle, not so much. He blows a loud raspberry, and I can feel bits of mashed potato spittle land on my arm.]
Me: Please help us to stay healthy and strong.
[Lyle let’s go of my wife’s hand and sticks his finger in the mashed potatoes. His finger works fairly well as a utensil. Unfortunately, I know where that finger has been.]
Me: Um. Um. Um.
Amy: In Jesus’ name, Amen.
[Lyle says an enthusiastic “Amen” and sticks the potato covered finger in his mouth.]
Last night before we took the Christmas pictures, during our dinner prayer, my son acted like a three-year-old.
That’s okay, I guess. He is three after all. But here’s what that looks like during a prayer.
We all hold hands around the table, my wife, my daughter, me, and my son, in that order. We bow our heads. I usually pray:
Me: Dear God, thank you for this day and this food.
[At the mention of food, Lyle plants his nose in the mashed potatoes and makes a hog noise: “churff, churff, churff.” I try to ignore these noises.]
Me: Thank you for Mommy and the hard work she does every day. Especially thank you right now for the food that she prepared.
[Lyle lifts his head and looks at me. I know this because I can’t pray with my eyes closed at dinner for fear that something horrible will end up on the rug or the ceiling. Lyle has mashed potatoes on his chin like a beard. He laughs about this.]
Me: Thank you for CJ… and, um, Lyle. I pray that you will fill them with your Spirit and help them to glorify you in all that they do.
[That’s my standard prayer for the family. All of life is ministry. It’s an important thought to me. To Lyle, not so much. He blows a loud raspberry, and I can feel bits of mashed potato spittle land on my arm.]
Me: Please help us to stay healthy and strong.
[Lyle let’s go of my wife’s hand and sticks his finger in the mashed potatoes. His finger works fairly well as a utensil. Unfortunately, I know where that finger has been.]
Me: Um. Um. Um.
Amy: In Jesus’ name, Amen.
[Lyle says an enthusiastic “Amen” and sticks the potato covered finger in his mouth.]
Thursday, November 29, 2007
What's better than pumpkin pie?
PURPLE PIE!!
Check out the missing chunk of purple pie in my debt reduction chart. Pretty exciting stuff for me...if all goes as planned, this time next year, I will have made the last payment on my house and will be entirely debt free--what an amazing thought!!
This is certainly a lesson in patience and wisdom and planning and frugality for me...but I could have made it crazy-tough on myself and chose not to do that. I want to be out of debt, but I stopped and thought about the times I've gone on "crash" diets and then ended up bingeing at some point because I couldn't take it any longer. I don't want to set myself up for failure by not giving myself a little "play" budget.
I'm pretty excited, though--I went to Hobby Lobby tonight for cardstock and ended up in the yarn department, where I discovered a vast amount of beautiful yarn (some of it regularly priced at about $7.00/skein) on sale for 99 cents!! My knitting's still not too hot (it's terrible, really), but I can crochet...and I can crank out scarves pretty quickly. Hmm...sounds like Christmas scarves for all my loved ones this year. :-)
Check out the missing chunk of purple pie in my debt reduction chart. Pretty exciting stuff for me...if all goes as planned, this time next year, I will have made the last payment on my house and will be entirely debt free--what an amazing thought!!
This is certainly a lesson in patience and wisdom and planning and frugality for me...but I could have made it crazy-tough on myself and chose not to do that. I want to be out of debt, but I stopped and thought about the times I've gone on "crash" diets and then ended up bingeing at some point because I couldn't take it any longer. I don't want to set myself up for failure by not giving myself a little "play" budget.
I'm pretty excited, though--I went to Hobby Lobby tonight for cardstock and ended up in the yarn department, where I discovered a vast amount of beautiful yarn (some of it regularly priced at about $7.00/skein) on sale for 99 cents!! My knitting's still not too hot (it's terrible, really), but I can crochet...and I can crank out scarves pretty quickly. Hmm...sounds like Christmas scarves for all my loved ones this year. :-)
Saturday, November 24, 2007
The surprising blessedness of numbness...
These are days when I'm grateful for the fog of numbness that's been surrounding me lately. I wonder sometimes if I would even be able to stand underneath the weight of grief pressing down on me if I could actually feel it.
The pastor of our church has resigned--for the second time. And he won't be coming back this time. Which is a good thing. Because he "committed inappropriate acts with a female church member" (somewhat accurate quotation from his letter of resignation).
I am SO SICK of this shit. I know my heart's broken, but I just can't feel it right now. And that's a good thing. I don't want to feel anything for awhile...I just want to be numb.
The pastor of our church has resigned--for the second time. And he won't be coming back this time. Which is a good thing. Because he "committed inappropriate acts with a female church member" (somewhat accurate quotation from his letter of resignation).
I am SO SICK of this shit. I know my heart's broken, but I just can't feel it right now. And that's a good thing. I don't want to feel anything for awhile...I just want to be numb.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Help me out here...again
Ok, I'm trying to make sense of something.
Let's say you have a skill. (Why don't we use...oh, COOKING, as an example?)
Let's say you use that skill occasionally in a semi-professional manner. (Maybe like catering wedding receptions/rehearsal dinners/etc. And you're damned good at it.)
Let's say you volunteer to use that skill to serve others. (Cooking meals for about 50 people on a mission trip, maybe?)
So...what if the "powers that be" tell you that, simply because you don't meet the "requirements" (umm...not over age 60), you will not be allowed to utilize your skill and will, instead, be considered an "unskilled laborer" and will be assigned instead to a team of people who don't have any special skills?
And let's say you have a bit of a red-headed temper. ;-) Let's just say I'm still considering my options...
All kidding aside, this particular situation has really driven home to me a bigger truth.
We are SO quick, as "the church" to assign labels to someone...at what cost? We overlook the gifts/skills that God has given to individuals--lumping them, instead, into the "categories" that we want/need filled. We make our own list of requirements and try to force people to fit into our mold of what WE think parts of the body should look like/do.
Do we ever stop to think what that could potentially do to the person we're labelling? I mean, I'm a confident person and I'm pretty solid in my knowledge of my giftings and my skills...and in how they should be used. But what about a new believer? Or someone just beginning to understand that they have a unique gift that only they can offer the kingdom? What happens when we tell THEM that "oh, you should be a teacher" simply because there's an opening in the Sunday School department? Let's say they can sing like an angel, but you don't think you "need" another soprano in the choir. Does God gift so haphazardly that he wouldn't be aware of this person's gift?
I. Don't. Think. So.
We're an F'd up bunch.
Ok. Rant over. This isn't fleshed-out very well, because...well, it IS a rant. I'm still thinking about the deeper implications of this WRONG way of thinking.
Let's say you have a skill. (Why don't we use...oh, COOKING, as an example?)
Let's say you use that skill occasionally in a semi-professional manner. (Maybe like catering wedding receptions/rehearsal dinners/etc. And you're damned good at it.)
Let's say you volunteer to use that skill to serve others. (Cooking meals for about 50 people on a mission trip, maybe?)
So...what if the "powers that be" tell you that, simply because you don't meet the "requirements" (umm...not over age 60), you will not be allowed to utilize your skill and will, instead, be considered an "unskilled laborer" and will be assigned instead to a team of people who don't have any special skills?
And let's say you have a bit of a red-headed temper. ;-) Let's just say I'm still considering my options...
All kidding aside, this particular situation has really driven home to me a bigger truth.
We are SO quick, as "the church" to assign labels to someone...at what cost? We overlook the gifts/skills that God has given to individuals--lumping them, instead, into the "categories" that we want/need filled. We make our own list of requirements and try to force people to fit into our mold of what WE think parts of the body should look like/do.
Do we ever stop to think what that could potentially do to the person we're labelling? I mean, I'm a confident person and I'm pretty solid in my knowledge of my giftings and my skills...and in how they should be used. But what about a new believer? Or someone just beginning to understand that they have a unique gift that only they can offer the kingdom? What happens when we tell THEM that "oh, you should be a teacher" simply because there's an opening in the Sunday School department? Let's say they can sing like an angel, but you don't think you "need" another soprano in the choir. Does God gift so haphazardly that he wouldn't be aware of this person's gift?
I. Don't. Think. So.
We're an F'd up bunch.
Ok. Rant over. This isn't fleshed-out very well, because...well, it IS a rant. I'm still thinking about the deeper implications of this WRONG way of thinking.
Monday, October 22, 2007
My love/hate relationship with Derek Webb...
Right now I hate him. Because, deep-down, I know he's right. And I don't want him to be. Because, if he is, I have to change. (As if I didn't already know that...)
Like Shane says..."have we even BEGUN to take the words of Jesus seriously?" And my answer, if I'm really honest, unfortunately, is "no, I haven't."
Rich Young Ruler--Derek Webb
(vs. 1)
poverty is so hard to see
when it’s only on your tv and twenty miles across town
where we’re all living so good
that we moved out of Jesus’ neighborhood
where he’s hungry and not feeling so good
from going through our trash
he says, more than just your cash and coin
i want your time, i want your voice
i want the things you just can’t give me
(vs. 2)
so what must we do
here in the west we want to follow you
we speak the language and we keep all the rules
even a few we made up
come on and follow me
but sell your house, sell your suv
sell your stocks, sell your security
and give it to the poor
what is this, hey what’s the deal
i don’t sleep around and i don’t steal
i want the things you just can’t give me
(bridge)
because what you do to the least of these
my brothers, you have done it to me
because i want the things you just can’t give me
Like Shane says..."have we even BEGUN to take the words of Jesus seriously?" And my answer, if I'm really honest, unfortunately, is "no, I haven't."
Rich Young Ruler--Derek Webb
(vs. 1)
poverty is so hard to see
when it’s only on your tv and twenty miles across town
where we’re all living so good
that we moved out of Jesus’ neighborhood
where he’s hungry and not feeling so good
from going through our trash
he says, more than just your cash and coin
i want your time, i want your voice
i want the things you just can’t give me
(vs. 2)
so what must we do
here in the west we want to follow you
we speak the language and we keep all the rules
even a few we made up
come on and follow me
but sell your house, sell your suv
sell your stocks, sell your security
and give it to the poor
what is this, hey what’s the deal
i don’t sleep around and i don’t steal
i want the things you just can’t give me
(bridge)
because what you do to the least of these
my brothers, you have done it to me
because i want the things you just can’t give me
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Is "NakedPastor" my alter-ego?
Sometimes I think so. And sometimes I think I need to start looking for the bugs that I know this pastor from Canada has managed to sneak into my house, so he can listen to my conversations and blog about them like they were his own thoughts!! It's almost eerie sometimes. I'm quoting some big chunks from his last blog entry, because HE has unknowingly (I think!) quoted me almost verbatim from a couple of conversations I've had this past week. I'm editing out a little of the personal stuff about his family, but...those of you who've talked to me recently--how familiar does this sound?
I just don’t know how to “do” church anymore. In fact, I don’t want to do church anymore! I’m done. I’m not done with my friends, the people I am among, the people who call me their pastor. But I’m done with doing church. You don’t do church. If you’re doing church, then you’re not doing church. And I’m not trying to be Zen. This isn’t a koan. It is fact. You can’t do church anymore than you can do family.
Can you imagine if I woke up Saturday morning and announced to Lisa and the kids, “Okay, we’re going to do family today!” They’d think I’d finally lost it. They’d groan and complain and hate us for forcing them to play a part in a play they have no interest in. But what if I got up Saturday morning, like we sometimes do, and we started the fresh ground coffee, started grilling the bacon and mixing the blueberry pancakes? What if we set it all on the table and just sat down to eat when it was ready? What if we then decided to go to the mall to spend some of the money they’d made that week on cds and clothes? Then we happened to notice that there was a movie playing at the theater, so we took it in. Then we went back home and everyone dispersed and went their own way to maybe reconnect if we’re lucky just before we go to bed? What if that happened? We weren’t doing family at all. Not even subversively!
This is how I see community. We get together and be what we already are without trying or pretending or even planning. Sometimes it is ideal. Sometimes it sucks so hard you die of boredom. I’ve seen this over and over again. I mean, if Lisa and I planned an ideal Saturday like I mentioned above, it just wouldn’t happen, mainly because the kids wouldn’t be the least bit interested in fulfilling our plans for them. If it happens, great! If not, whatever! Maybe another time. Maybe not. But we’re still a family. I just refuse to “do” it.
I just don’t know how to “do” church anymore. In fact, I don’t want to do church anymore! I’m done. I’m not done with my friends, the people I am among, the people who call me their pastor. But I’m done with doing church. You don’t do church. If you’re doing church, then you’re not doing church. And I’m not trying to be Zen. This isn’t a koan. It is fact. You can’t do church anymore than you can do family.
Can you imagine if I woke up Saturday morning and announced to Lisa and the kids, “Okay, we’re going to do family today!” They’d think I’d finally lost it. They’d groan and complain and hate us for forcing them to play a part in a play they have no interest in. But what if I got up Saturday morning, like we sometimes do, and we started the fresh ground coffee, started grilling the bacon and mixing the blueberry pancakes? What if we set it all on the table and just sat down to eat when it was ready? What if we then decided to go to the mall to spend some of the money they’d made that week on cds and clothes? Then we happened to notice that there was a movie playing at the theater, so we took it in. Then we went back home and everyone dispersed and went their own way to maybe reconnect if we’re lucky just before we go to bed? What if that happened? We weren’t doing family at all. Not even subversively!
This is how I see community. We get together and be what we already are without trying or pretending or even planning. Sometimes it is ideal. Sometimes it sucks so hard you die of boredom. I’ve seen this over and over again. I mean, if Lisa and I planned an ideal Saturday like I mentioned above, it just wouldn’t happen, mainly because the kids wouldn’t be the least bit interested in fulfilling our plans for them. If it happens, great! If not, whatever! Maybe another time. Maybe not. But we’re still a family. I just refuse to “do” it.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Oh, how we suffer...
I had one of those "epiphanal" moments last night. In Starbucks. While waiting for my pumpkin spice latte. (Another reason I love autumn.)
There were 3 young men sitting at a table near the shelf of clearance items and I couldn't help but overhear their conversation while I was looking for some bargain Christmas gifts. Probably college students--really nice-looking guys...dressed in their Abercrombie and Aeropostale shirts and obviously not-cheap jeans, hair appropriately "un"-styled, funky glasses, fresh-faced, really sweet, innocent, unspoiled-by-the-world countenances. They truly looked just plain NICE and "boy-next-door-ish". They'd been having a bible study and were talking about what to study for next week.
The leader told them to read 1 Peter 4, because it talked about suffering for Christ and was "really cool"...and important to understand how, as believers, we have to suffer for the cause of Christ.
I realize that any of those young men might have some dark, painful things hidden behind those well-scrubbed fresh, innocent faces, but...it made me really stop and think about what "suffering" really is.
When I REALLY stop to think about genuine suffering, I think of the "night commuter"children in Darfur who've left their homes and families to avoid the genocide ravaging their country. I think of the people starving in the displacement camps in Northern Uganda. I think of the thousands of families still living in 20-foot FEMA trailers 2 years post-Katrina, wondering if they'll ever have a "normal" life again. I think of First Nations people living in absolute squalor and abject poverty on desolate reservations in the middle of the so-called "greatest country in the world". I think of a teenager who's been abused and abandoned by a mom incapable of loving even her own children.
I can't really equate "suffering" with sitting at Starbucks, venti latte in hand. Most of us only think we "suffer". Myself included.
1 Peter 4:12Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 13But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 14If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. 16However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. 17For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18And, "If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?" 19So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.
There were 3 young men sitting at a table near the shelf of clearance items and I couldn't help but overhear their conversation while I was looking for some bargain Christmas gifts. Probably college students--really nice-looking guys...dressed in their Abercrombie and Aeropostale shirts and obviously not-cheap jeans, hair appropriately "un"-styled, funky glasses, fresh-faced, really sweet, innocent, unspoiled-by-the-world countenances. They truly looked just plain NICE and "boy-next-door-ish". They'd been having a bible study and were talking about what to study for next week.
The leader told them to read 1 Peter 4, because it talked about suffering for Christ and was "really cool"...and important to understand how, as believers, we have to suffer for the cause of Christ.
I realize that any of those young men might have some dark, painful things hidden behind those well-scrubbed fresh, innocent faces, but...it made me really stop and think about what "suffering" really is.
When I REALLY stop to think about genuine suffering, I think of the "night commuter"children in Darfur who've left their homes and families to avoid the genocide ravaging their country. I think of the people starving in the displacement camps in Northern Uganda. I think of the thousands of families still living in 20-foot FEMA trailers 2 years post-Katrina, wondering if they'll ever have a "normal" life again. I think of First Nations people living in absolute squalor and abject poverty on desolate reservations in the middle of the so-called "greatest country in the world". I think of a teenager who's been abused and abandoned by a mom incapable of loving even her own children.
I can't really equate "suffering" with sitting at Starbucks, venti latte in hand. Most of us only think we "suffer". Myself included.
1 Peter 4:12Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 13But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 14If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. 16However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. 17For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18And, "If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?" 19So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
NakedPastor on church finances...
This one hits pretty close to MY home and my heart! Gotta love David Hayward (NakedPastor) and his sense of humor.
Maybe he's seen our flashing neon-bright sign. ;-)
Maybe he's seen our flashing neon-bright sign. ;-)
Monday, October 08, 2007
Me Worship
We may not say it quite this blatantly, but isn't this the underlying thought in most of what passes for "worship" in church? Or am I just bitter and jaded?
A sabbath of sorts...
I'm on holiday today. Not just a day off from work, but a day off from LIFE. Or the craziness, anyway, that's been my life for the past five or six weeks.
I looked at my calendar the other night and realized that, since AUGUST 30, I've not had one weeknight or Saturday at home. Even for me, that's a little too much. Not that I don't, for the most part, enjoy football games and volleyball games and board meetings and getting my hair cut and visiting with family and friends and...all that other stuff. I love my life and want to wring every bit of "living" out of it that I can, but I've been feeling, for the past few days, that living has wrung the life out of me.
So, today I've uploaded several hundred photos from my camera, finished a printing job I'd started 3 weeks ago, caught up on some emails, did some more research on intentional community and new monasticism, wrote a long-overdue letter to a friend in need of encouragement, decluttered the kitchen and living room, washed 3 loads of laundry...and I actually slept almost 8 hours last night, except for a few minor cat-dancing-on-my-head interruptions in the middle of the night. I still have the remainders of 4 weeks of laundry to fold and put away (it's going to be nice not living out of the laundry basket for awhile!) and a lot of dusting and vacuuming to do, but I've made some progress today. And I've done it at my own pace, without feeling there's an invisible stopwatch hanging over my head.
All of that may not seem either like a holiday OR a sabbath to anyone else, but it has been for me. There's something peaceful and holy about putting your house in order...and listening to your mind and body when they're screaming for a break from the daily insanity of life.
And, tonight, I get to hang out with a bunch of great friends who make me laugh...and I'll be mentally rested and ready to laugh again. Life is good.
I looked at my calendar the other night and realized that, since AUGUST 30, I've not had one weeknight or Saturday at home. Even for me, that's a little too much. Not that I don't, for the most part, enjoy football games and volleyball games and board meetings and getting my hair cut and visiting with family and friends and...all that other stuff. I love my life and want to wring every bit of "living" out of it that I can, but I've been feeling, for the past few days, that living has wrung the life out of me.
So, today I've uploaded several hundred photos from my camera, finished a printing job I'd started 3 weeks ago, caught up on some emails, did some more research on intentional community and new monasticism, wrote a long-overdue letter to a friend in need of encouragement, decluttered the kitchen and living room, washed 3 loads of laundry...and I actually slept almost 8 hours last night, except for a few minor cat-dancing-on-my-head interruptions in the middle of the night. I still have the remainders of 4 weeks of laundry to fold and put away (it's going to be nice not living out of the laundry basket for awhile!) and a lot of dusting and vacuuming to do, but I've made some progress today. And I've done it at my own pace, without feeling there's an invisible stopwatch hanging over my head.
All of that may not seem either like a holiday OR a sabbath to anyone else, but it has been for me. There's something peaceful and holy about putting your house in order...and listening to your mind and body when they're screaming for a break from the daily insanity of life.
And, tonight, I get to hang out with a bunch of great friends who make me laugh...and I'll be mentally rested and ready to laugh again. Life is good.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Brokenness...
The great mystery of God's love is that we are not asked to live as if we are not hurting, as if we are not broken. In fact, we are invited to recognize our brokenness as a brokenness in which we can come in touch with the unique way that God loves us. The great invitation is to live your brokenness under the blessing. I cannot take people's brokenness away and people cannot take my brokenness away.
But how do you live in your brokenness? Do you live your brokenness under the blessing or under the curse? The great call of Jesus is to put your brokenness under the blessing.
Henri J.M. Nouwen
But how do you live in your brokenness? Do you live your brokenness under the blessing or under the curse? The great call of Jesus is to put your brokenness under the blessing.
Henri J.M. Nouwen
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Purple pie...yum!!!
So, I've taken another little slice out of the purple pie and it's GOOD!! :-)
This isn't going to be as easy as I hoped it might...it's good to have the visual in front of me to keep reminding me to be vigilant. This is the time of year that I start doing my Christmas shopping and it's easy for me to go overboard and get a little extravagant in my gift-giving.
Watching the pie get smaller each month should help to keep me on track. I hope. And spur me on to be a little more creative and a little less "spendy" on gifts this year.
This isn't going to be as easy as I hoped it might...it's good to have the visual in front of me to keep reminding me to be vigilant. This is the time of year that I start doing my Christmas shopping and it's easy for me to go overboard and get a little extravagant in my gift-giving.
Watching the pie get smaller each month should help to keep me on track. I hope. And spur me on to be a little more creative and a little less "spendy" on gifts this year.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Help Me Out Here...
I've been listening a lot lately to a new-to-me group called The Cobalt Season. Once again, I've found someone speaking a language I know...these are lyrics that resonate deeply with me and all the uneasiness/unsettledness I've been experiencing lately. I just keep thinking "there's something more, there's something you're almost getting"...this is part of it. Where DO we go from here? Where do *I* go from here? If I say I believe it but do nothing (or maybe very little...or maybe even some) to back up my words, does that make me worse than an unbeliever? Frankly, I'm tired of ignoring it. Or pushing it aside, promising I'll look at it another day.
Help Me Out Here--The Cobalt Season
Rain fallin’ down on my face
Wash me clean; wash my sins away
And take me back where I used to run
So fast and free, like the Kingdom Come
Just like the Kingdom Come
Still we go marchin’ on, blood on our hands
Dirt on our skin, heads in the sand
In some other time or in the here-and-now
How far will we go? All that we allow
Help me out here…I’m getting tired
Help me out here…I’m getting tired
Pardon me if I say too much
I could never ignore that which I ought not touch
And curiosity might be all I got
And some cynicism from experience wraught
My experience brought me here
They say we must go on, never lookin’ back
Lest we ever learn the wisdom we lack
And curiosity, it might be my death
Though I may rest from time to time to catch my breath
Help me out here…I’m getting tired
And all that we need to see
And all those we need to hear
We tie their hands behind their backs and look away
Yes we tear the shirt right off their back
Then we donate cash for all they lack
Fancy ourselves philanthropists; save justice for another day
And we wonder how we got so far
Making money off each other’s scars
“Still it’s never my fault, I mean what other options did I have?”
Buying someone else’s tyrannic dreams
Of force and greed and foolish schemes
When there is Light to help illuminate the Way
Still we choose to tell each other lies
That this Kingdom can never be realized
The Master never could have meant the words he said
Where do we go from here? God only knows
Or perhaps that’s just a bunch bullshit spiritual prose
Perhaps we’re the ones we’ve been waiting for
Perhaps God has been just waiting at our door
He’s waiting at the door
And I’ll try to be the first to tell you when I’m wrong
I’ll write a book about it right here in my song
Here is where I start to try and start again
Learning to become a father and a friend
Help me out here…I’m getting tired
Help Me Out Here--The Cobalt Season
Rain fallin’ down on my face
Wash me clean; wash my sins away
And take me back where I used to run
So fast and free, like the Kingdom Come
Just like the Kingdom Come
Still we go marchin’ on, blood on our hands
Dirt on our skin, heads in the sand
In some other time or in the here-and-now
How far will we go? All that we allow
Help me out here…I’m getting tired
Help me out here…I’m getting tired
Pardon me if I say too much
I could never ignore that which I ought not touch
And curiosity might be all I got
And some cynicism from experience wraught
My experience brought me here
They say we must go on, never lookin’ back
Lest we ever learn the wisdom we lack
And curiosity, it might be my death
Though I may rest from time to time to catch my breath
Help me out here…I’m getting tired
And all that we need to see
And all those we need to hear
We tie their hands behind their backs and look away
Yes we tear the shirt right off their back
Then we donate cash for all they lack
Fancy ourselves philanthropists; save justice for another day
And we wonder how we got so far
Making money off each other’s scars
“Still it’s never my fault, I mean what other options did I have?”
Buying someone else’s tyrannic dreams
Of force and greed and foolish schemes
When there is Light to help illuminate the Way
Still we choose to tell each other lies
That this Kingdom can never be realized
The Master never could have meant the words he said
Where do we go from here? God only knows
Or perhaps that’s just a bunch bullshit spiritual prose
Perhaps we’re the ones we’ve been waiting for
Perhaps God has been just waiting at our door
He’s waiting at the door
And I’ll try to be the first to tell you when I’m wrong
I’ll write a book about it right here in my song
Here is where I start to try and start again
Learning to become a father and a friend
Help me out here…I’m getting tired
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
"Does Somebody Need a Hug...?"
Yeah. Somebody does.
I've had this song in my head all day...pretty much sums it up. Better than I could at this moment.
"Holy Water"--Big and Rich
She wants someone to call her angel
Someone to put the light back in her eyes
She's looking through the faces
And unfamiliar places
She needs someone to hear her when she cries
And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me like holy water
Holy water
She just needs a little help
To wash away the pain she's felt
She wants to feel the healing hands
Of someone who understands
And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me like holy water
Holy water
I've had this song in my head all day...pretty much sums it up. Better than I could at this moment.
"Holy Water"--Big and Rich
She wants someone to call her angel
Someone to put the light back in her eyes
She's looking through the faces
And unfamiliar places
She needs someone to hear her when she cries
And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me like holy water
Holy water
She just needs a little help
To wash away the pain she's felt
She wants to feel the healing hands
Of someone who understands
And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me like holy water
Holy water
Excerpt from Real time with Bill Maher 08-31-2007
I consider myself to be mostly anti-political anymore, so it's kind of strange that I'm suggesting anyone watch Bill Maher talking about politics, but...this is actually good stuff.
John Mellencamp makes some really good comments about the naivete of Americans in general and Americans in the midwest in specific. (And the whole time he's talking, even though I agree with him, I couldn't help singing to myself "Ain't that America?...Little pink houses for you and for me...") ;-)
Maybe I'm more political than I think I am. Maybe this has more to do with "culture" issues than it does with politics.
At any rate, if you have 10 minutes to spare, you should watch it--at least the first 8 minutes. It kind of disintegrates after that.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Totally random, unrelated things recently capturing my attention...
It's been a crazy week. Crazy month. I think I could safely say, even, that it's been a crazy year. Or maybe I just have a crazy life and have only recently grown aware of that fact. At any rate, things have seemed jumbled and mismatched lately. Kind of like my thoughts. Kind of like this:
- The Cubs are in first place in the National League Central. The (former world champion--hey, was that just last year?) Cardinals have been ELIMINATED. The Brewers are 2 games back. And...correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it September? Aren't we supposed to be in last place by now? Or so goes the Cardinal fan's favorite slam.
- Some of my friends and I had a rummage sale today. First one I've had in probably almost 20 years. Now I remember WHY I quit having rummage sales. (I've been told by a "foreigner" to the Midwest that "rummage sale" is a silly name...it should be "garage sale" or "yard sale". Well, we had this one in the garage and the yard, but we sold "rummage", not the garage or the yard, so...I'm stickin' with "rummage sale". Or maybe "grummage sale"--I've grown fond of that new word, coined just for the occasion. Just don't call it a "tag sale", please--no one's selling tags.) Whatever you want to call it, I made almost $250 today, so I'm happy. And I now have 8 beautiful, formerly-full RubberMaid Rough Totes just waiting to be filled with stuff priced for the next sale.
- I was reminded Thursday of a friend who died 15 years ago. To this day, his death remains one of the experiences that has affected me most profoundly. I know he suffered and I know he had bad days, but I've never seen anyone face the dying process with such courage and grace and beauty. I've always been grateful that God allowed me to be part of his life...and I've always been grateful to my friend for allowing me to walk part of the way with him on that journey...and now I'm grateful for being reminded again of his beautiful life.
- NakedPastor, one of my daily blog reads, has been saying some pretty thought-provoking stuff lately. He is a pastor I admire most deeply because of his transparencies--he's not afraid, even, of admitting his (gasp!!) doubts about faith issues/God. He challenges me. He says things I've thought and were too afraid to admit that I'd thought them. It's pretty validating, actually, to hear that other people are stumbling through life just like I am. This "body" of ours tends to lean toward pasting on the happy mask and pretending things are "JUST GREAT!!!!" when they're anything but. Thanks, David, for tearing off your mask...your actions are giving me permission to peel another layer of my own back and see what's really lurking behind the false face(s).
- I was given a truly amazing gift last night. My friend Mack, who is eight, is a Cubs fan, too. He had four Ryne Sandberg baseball cards and he knows that Ryno is my ALL-TIME favorite baseball player (I even have a Sandberg jersey). Mack gave me one of his Sandberg baseball cards...out of the blue. Just because. No pomp and circumstance, no pretty wrappings, no "hey, look what I'm doing"--he just quietly walked up and matter-of-factly handed it to me. I cried. Pretty sure *I* learned a lesson last night. I think we could all stand a few lessons like that.
- I have a great life. Things are pretty tough right now, for a variety of reasons which are truly beyond my control, but all in all, I'm grateful for most of it. And glad I don't feel like a hypcrite when I wear one of my "Life is Good" shirts.
- I like bulleted lists. Makes me feel very "Erin-ish". ;-)
- That's all.
- For now.
- Stay tuned.
- For more.
- :-)
It's a beautiful sight...
I just watched a great radar video that shows a swirling "Tropical Depression Ten" hitting the Gulf coast and then dissipating into a random bunch of harmless clouds. Okay, so I'm a weather geek--fascinated by radar and clouds. I readily confess. But more than that, I'm a lover of people...and infinitely grateful that people I've grown to love over the past year are safe and sound.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Storm update...
The "thing" over the Gulf has now been updated to a subtropical depression...Subtropical Depression Ten to be exact (not big enough for a "real" name, but big enough!)
The center of the storm should hit the Mississippi coast around noon tomorrow, according to the stormtracker I'm watching on the National Weather Service website. Possible sustained winds of 39-73 mph. And there's another storm system coming in behind that...further out, moving slowly, may not develop any further.
Trying to not worry...failing miserably.
The center of the storm should hit the Mississippi coast around noon tomorrow, according to the stormtracker I'm watching on the National Weather Service website. Possible sustained winds of 39-73 mph. And there's another storm system coming in behind that...further out, moving slowly, may not develop any further.
Trying to not worry...failing miserably.
Please, not again...
This is an image from the National Weather Service from last night. At last update on their site, conditions were favorable for this system to become a tropical or subtropical cyclone (not sure of the difference between the two--maybe the level of intensity?) in the next 24 hours.
The Florida panhandle is already being affected...and you can see where this system is heading--directly for the Gulf coast.
People I love dearly are in the path of this storm system. People who haven't even come close to recovering from the emotional and physical devastations of Katrina are in the path of this storm system. This is NOT another Katrina, but it has to be frightening nonetheless for the Katrina survivors who are still rebuilding after 2 years.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Take me out to the ballgame...
So, I needed a brief respite from the doom and gloom of the past few posts.
How 'bout those Cubbies?!!! Still in first place in the NL Central. Just 1.5 games up, but they're holding on. Both Milwaukee and St Louis lost tonight...the Astros beat the Cards 18-1. I had to watch the game recap just to make sure I was really seeing it correctly! Still trying not to gloat... ;-) St Louis is actually close to being eliminated from the division race. Too bad the Brewers aren't that close---yet.
Go Cubs!!! :-)
How 'bout those Cubbies?!!! Still in first place in the NL Central. Just 1.5 games up, but they're holding on. Both Milwaukee and St Louis lost tonight...the Astros beat the Cards 18-1. I had to watch the game recap just to make sure I was really seeing it correctly! Still trying not to gloat... ;-) St Louis is actually close to being eliminated from the division race. Too bad the Brewers aren't that close---yet.
Go Cubs!!! :-)
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Is this your church?
I'm starting to believe it's mine. I'm disgruntled in a BIG way. And I'm not apologizing for it...at least not right now. This is actually written by missionary currently in the Ukraine. Same kinda crap all over the world, eh?
I am NOT "in rebellion", although I'm relatively certain I'm "fixin" to be labelled as such, if I haven't been already. I love "THE church"--I even love the people who attend the Sunday morning gathering to which I've been attached for a LONG time. I'm just not all that crazy about that environment right now. And I have questions. LOTS of them.
Ask the wrong questions, and you’re labeled a heretic, and eventually forced out of the church. Many of the churches here have long lists of people who were ex-communicated for exactly these reasons.
Why is it that the churches all say “We have the answer”, but don’t want to hear the questions? They have answers to questions that nobody is asking, but the real questions scare them.
We were talking about what we would like to see in our church, and how we want to create an environment where people are comfortable asking questions - about anything - without fear of condemnation.
We are trying to start this process by asking some of these questions ourselves, in church, to show people that asking questions is not rebellion, despite what they may have been taught at other churches.
I am NOT "in rebellion", although I'm relatively certain I'm "fixin" to be labelled as such, if I haven't been already. I love "THE church"--I even love the people who attend the Sunday morning gathering to which I've been attached for a LONG time. I'm just not all that crazy about that environment right now. And I have questions. LOTS of them.
Ask the wrong questions, and you’re labeled a heretic, and eventually forced out of the church. Many of the churches here have long lists of people who were ex-communicated for exactly these reasons.
Why is it that the churches all say “We have the answer”, but don’t want to hear the questions? They have answers to questions that nobody is asking, but the real questions scare them.
We were talking about what we would like to see in our church, and how we want to create an environment where people are comfortable asking questions - about anything - without fear of condemnation.
We are trying to start this process by asking some of these questions ourselves, in church, to show people that asking questions is not rebellion, despite what they may have been taught at other churches.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
He SAYS he's from New Jersey...
...but I think this blogger MUST be a member of my church!! Or at least has a direct line to someone on the "inside" who's feeding him material. God help us. I'll refrain from more comment than that for the time being. He says:
- any church whose agenda is to make converts will have a hell of a time convincing me that they don't see outsiders as potential notches in their collective bible.
- submission to one another as a behavioral pattern is not easily compatible with the idea of taking your city/state/country for Christ.
- it's not right to throw stones at people, even if they're real bastards and shoot arrows at you first.
- any church whose agenda is to make converts will have a hell of a time convincing me that they don't see outsiders as potential notches in their collective bible.
- submission to one another as a behavioral pattern is not easily compatible with the idea of taking your city/state/country for Christ.
- it's not right to throw stones at people, even if they're real bastards and shoot arrows at you first.
Whatever else you do today...
...WATCH THIS VIDEO!!! Oh...and you might want to first make sure you have no liquid in your mouth--I nearly spit coffee on my screen.
CHURCH ATTENDANCE
CHURCH ATTENDANCE
Blood Diamonds
I just finished watching "Blood Diamond", the Leonardo DeCaprio movie about the brutal, bloody, illegal diamond mining/smuggling operations in Africa. Just call me another head-buried-in-the-sand American, I guess. I've known about the "blood diamond" trade for several years and made the decision a couple of years ago to never wear a diamond again--there is absolutely no allure for me in anything that comes from an industry so tainted with the blood of innocents. But after watching the movie, "a whole 'nother" set of questions has arisen for me.
As anyone who reads me regularly already knows, we're working our way through Shane Claiborne's "The Irresistible Revolution" in my small group. Shane vociferously addresses the third world country sweatshop issue...and how we as comfy American Christians don't address the tragedies happening to our brothers and sisters in other parts of the world. We seem to have drawn a boundary line around our country and anyone outside that line is "them" and therefore somehow less worthy/deserving of what those of "us" inside the safe boundaries take for granted.
The same goes for the diamond industry--people are LOSING THEIR LIVES. DYING. DYING. Why? Because America (and other wealthy countries) must have its bling. This isn't about a man laying down his life for his friends. It's about strangers (including small children) being brutalized--beaten, raped, and murdered. For what? For a "sparkly little thang" to stick on my finger or around my neck or in my ear? Puh-LEEZE. It's hard enough for me to fathom that someone who knows me intimately would choose to lay down his or her life for me...a stranger dying so I can own a pretty little bauble? I don't think so.
The final song of the movie hit me pretty hard--the lyrics say it all so clearly. So, of course, I'm going to share.
"Shine on 'Em"
They dug me out the soil in the Mines of the Motherland
Now I'm misplaced, one hand to another hand
Illegal smugglin', people strugglin'
Wish they could just throw me back in the mud again
Yeah, guess that's how we got here
Slave Trade then the Diamond Trade
Every child's afraid
When his Mother and Father get sprayed
Forced in the Army, young killer Brigade
Gets a new name and then he give his nose glue
Til' his mind can't take what he's gon' through
Lookin' in that dirt for that ice so blue
Then The Royal Family, the ice goes to
And this thing has to change, feelin' half-ashamed
As I rap with my Platinum chain
When you shop for a gift for me
You think about the misery?
The same way we made Apartheid History
We can do the same thing to the conflict ice
But everybody wanna shine, right?
Everybody wants Heaven but nobody wants dead
Everybody wants Diamonds without the Bloodshed
Everybody wants Heaven but nobody wants dead
Everybody wants Diamonds without the Bloodshed
They wanna Shine on 'em
My VVS glimmers on my chest
200-thou-encrusted watch on my wrist
I wonder how people starve to death
When God bless the land that lacks the harvest
The stone's equality, but they homes are poverty
And the whole world ignores the robbery
Bought my girl pretty rocks when she's mad at me
Tear-drop shaped, uh, perfect Clarity
It shocks, so many are killed annually
'Cause of greed, lust, and pure Vanity
Stop talkin' and do somethin' about it
Every Holiday Season, Jewelry stores crowded
Kids snatched from their homes, Mutilated alive
Husbands separated from wives, keep a Jesus piece to be fly
But back in the day there was a time when they called us shine
Everybody wants Heaven but nobody wants dead
Everybody wants Diamonds without the Bloodshed
Everybody wants Heaven but nobody wants dead
Everybody wants Diamonds without the Bloodshed
They wanna shine on 'em
As anyone who reads me regularly already knows, we're working our way through Shane Claiborne's "The Irresistible Revolution" in my small group. Shane vociferously addresses the third world country sweatshop issue...and how we as comfy American Christians don't address the tragedies happening to our brothers and sisters in other parts of the world. We seem to have drawn a boundary line around our country and anyone outside that line is "them" and therefore somehow less worthy/deserving of what those of "us" inside the safe boundaries take for granted.
The same goes for the diamond industry--people are LOSING THEIR LIVES. DYING. DYING. Why? Because America (and other wealthy countries) must have its bling. This isn't about a man laying down his life for his friends. It's about strangers (including small children) being brutalized--beaten, raped, and murdered. For what? For a "sparkly little thang" to stick on my finger or around my neck or in my ear? Puh-LEEZE. It's hard enough for me to fathom that someone who knows me intimately would choose to lay down his or her life for me...a stranger dying so I can own a pretty little bauble? I don't think so.
The final song of the movie hit me pretty hard--the lyrics say it all so clearly. So, of course, I'm going to share.
"Shine on 'Em"
They dug me out the soil in the Mines of the Motherland
Now I'm misplaced, one hand to another hand
Illegal smugglin', people strugglin'
Wish they could just throw me back in the mud again
Yeah, guess that's how we got here
Slave Trade then the Diamond Trade
Every child's afraid
When his Mother and Father get sprayed
Forced in the Army, young killer Brigade
Gets a new name and then he give his nose glue
Til' his mind can't take what he's gon' through
Lookin' in that dirt for that ice so blue
Then The Royal Family, the ice goes to
And this thing has to change, feelin' half-ashamed
As I rap with my Platinum chain
When you shop for a gift for me
You think about the misery?
The same way we made Apartheid History
We can do the same thing to the conflict ice
But everybody wanna shine, right?
Everybody wants Heaven but nobody wants dead
Everybody wants Diamonds without the Bloodshed
Everybody wants Heaven but nobody wants dead
Everybody wants Diamonds without the Bloodshed
They wanna Shine on 'em
My VVS glimmers on my chest
200-thou-encrusted watch on my wrist
I wonder how people starve to death
When God bless the land that lacks the harvest
The stone's equality, but they homes are poverty
And the whole world ignores the robbery
Bought my girl pretty rocks when she's mad at me
Tear-drop shaped, uh, perfect Clarity
It shocks, so many are killed annually
'Cause of greed, lust, and pure Vanity
Stop talkin' and do somethin' about it
Every Holiday Season, Jewelry stores crowded
Kids snatched from their homes, Mutilated alive
Husbands separated from wives, keep a Jesus piece to be fly
But back in the day there was a time when they called us shine
Everybody wants Heaven but nobody wants dead
Everybody wants Diamonds without the Bloodshed
Everybody wants Heaven but nobody wants dead
Everybody wants Diamonds without the Bloodshed
They wanna shine on 'em
Friday, September 14, 2007
Let the record speak for itself...
Cubs 5--Cards 3.
Let's see now...looks like the CUBS are in first place, Milwaukee's in 2nd place, 1.5 games back...and those world champion Cardinals? Third place, 7.0 games out. Lo, how the mighty are fallen. (Well, fallING, anyway!!)
Gotta gloat while I can. I may have to take it all back next week. But I'm lovin' the moment right now!!!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Sinners and saints...and Billy Joel and Jesus
Quoting again...from Brother Andrew...who is quoting Billy Joel...and Jesus:
And here’s where I got to thinking, that perhaps we in the church have made a hell out of heaven. We took all of its attractiveness, warped it, and made the whole thing repugnant to the onlookers… and eventually, to many of ourselves as well. What did Billy Joel say? It’s a catchy line that we immediately want to condemn as from the lips of Satan himself, but I don’t think we can…
I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
The sinners are much more fun…
The problem in wanting to write this off so quickly is simple: it’s true. Sinners are more fun. The Christian counters that fun is not defined by sex, drugs, and alcohol… but that’s a horrible stereotype of those who have fun outside the church — do they never laugh when they aren’t drunk? (Dena says a hearty "AMEN!!!" to that observation!) I think the accusation could more accurately be made of some Christians I know. And it all came down to this… Jesus hung with those people, and was criticized for it; his disciples were asked, “Why does your teacher eat with such scum?” He was called to them as the sick who needed the physician… but clearly he was laughing, eating, drinking, and having fun with them. He said,
"For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon.’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and “sinners.” ‘ But wisdom is proved right by all her children.”
It seems to me he was having much more fun with the sinners than with the Pharisees, the saints of the day. Maybe his mother never told him all that they could give him was a reputation. Even now, the image of a laughing Jesus is a bit much for some people… but it looks to me like Jesus spent his time laughing with the sinners rather than crying with the saints, content for the wisdom of his actions not to be seen until after the fact. Go thou and do likewise?
And here’s where I got to thinking, that perhaps we in the church have made a hell out of heaven. We took all of its attractiveness, warped it, and made the whole thing repugnant to the onlookers… and eventually, to many of ourselves as well. What did Billy Joel say? It’s a catchy line that we immediately want to condemn as from the lips of Satan himself, but I don’t think we can…
I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
The sinners are much more fun…
The problem in wanting to write this off so quickly is simple: it’s true. Sinners are more fun. The Christian counters that fun is not defined by sex, drugs, and alcohol… but that’s a horrible stereotype of those who have fun outside the church — do they never laugh when they aren’t drunk? (Dena says a hearty "AMEN!!!" to that observation!) I think the accusation could more accurately be made of some Christians I know. And it all came down to this… Jesus hung with those people, and was criticized for it; his disciples were asked, “Why does your teacher eat with such scum?” He was called to them as the sick who needed the physician… but clearly he was laughing, eating, drinking, and having fun with them. He said,
"For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon.’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and “sinners.” ‘ But wisdom is proved right by all her children.”
It seems to me he was having much more fun with the sinners than with the Pharisees, the saints of the day. Maybe his mother never told him all that they could give him was a reputation. Even now, the image of a laughing Jesus is a bit much for some people… but it looks to me like Jesus spent his time laughing with the sinners rather than crying with the saints, content for the wisdom of his actions not to be seen until after the fact. Go thou and do likewise?
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
"Let it rain down over me..."
...and it did. At Godstock. All over Day of Fire. Some of these shots are a bit blurry, but they give you an idea of how hard it was raining. Torrentially. No exaggeration. See for yourself.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Freedom Reigns in this Place...
I spent Labor Day weekend in Mississippi. Hanging out with people I love. Meeting new people to love. Drinking cherry limeades from Sonic. And meeting God in unexpected places. Like Kentucky Fried Chicken.
We were supposed to have a cookout Friday night. Instead, we had torrential rain. So, we met at KFC for dinner. And a little music. Johanna, Barb, Mahesh and Janna, my new friends from California, sang and played for us--it was incredible. We had our own little worship service right there in the middle of the restaurant. Other customers came in--some stayed to listen to the music; some didn't.
A couple of men came in and sat down behind where the women were standing-they were both listening intently to the music and applauding. One of the guys in our group went over and sat down with them and started talking to them. We were singing "Freedom Reigns in This Place". And something happened. I felt it...before I even knew what was going on.
I had an almost palpable sense of the presence of God--the atmosphere was super-charged and seemed gelatinous...I could barely move against it. I looked at the 3 men in the corner--they were praying, hands joined, heads bowed...as the ladies continued to sing "freedom reigns in this place; showers of mercy and grace falling on every face...there is freedom". Words can't do it justice...and almost seem to defile the holiness of the moment.
One of the men, Phil, is a former minister who walked away from God a few years ago...and he's trying to find his way back.
I spend a lot of time asking God "But why?" over the closing of GKK...I still don't understand why he allowed that to happen. It's not a COMPLETE answer (or maybe it is), but I know that what I experienced at KFC was the church doing what it's supposed to be doing--taking Jesus with us wherever we go. At GKK (or like most churches), people had to come there to be served, to see God's hands and feet in operation, to hear encouragement. But we took Jesus with us to Kentucky Fried Chicken...and maybe Phil took him home.
We were supposed to have a cookout Friday night. Instead, we had torrential rain. So, we met at KFC for dinner. And a little music. Johanna, Barb, Mahesh and Janna, my new friends from California, sang and played for us--it was incredible. We had our own little worship service right there in the middle of the restaurant. Other customers came in--some stayed to listen to the music; some didn't.
A couple of men came in and sat down behind where the women were standing-they were both listening intently to the music and applauding. One of the guys in our group went over and sat down with them and started talking to them. We were singing "Freedom Reigns in This Place". And something happened. I felt it...before I even knew what was going on.
I had an almost palpable sense of the presence of God--the atmosphere was super-charged and seemed gelatinous...I could barely move against it. I looked at the 3 men in the corner--they were praying, hands joined, heads bowed...as the ladies continued to sing "freedom reigns in this place; showers of mercy and grace falling on every face...there is freedom". Words can't do it justice...and almost seem to defile the holiness of the moment.
One of the men, Phil, is a former minister who walked away from God a few years ago...and he's trying to find his way back.
I spend a lot of time asking God "But why?" over the closing of GKK...I still don't understand why he allowed that to happen. It's not a COMPLETE answer (or maybe it is), but I know that what I experienced at KFC was the church doing what it's supposed to be doing--taking Jesus with us wherever we go. At GKK (or like most churches), people had to come there to be served, to see God's hands and feet in operation, to hear encouragement. But we took Jesus with us to Kentucky Fried Chicken...and maybe Phil took him home.
One more quote from someone else...
...and then I'll get back to the business of letting my own voice be heard. This is from a comment posted on Emerging Grace's blog...she's asking the same "what IS church, anyway?" questions that I've been asking and I've found great encouragement in reading her words and those of others in the CLB (church left behind) place I've already been...and may be headed for again.
Martin Luther said that when a church is erected, the devil sets up shop next door. Brother Martin was wrong.The devil sets up shop in the Narthex of the church.
From my perspective, you have to ask yourself if attending church and being on the fringes the way other people here have described, out of any leadership role whatsoever, is the answer for you. If it isn't, you may be better living out what one of your commenters said: "To have church, you need 2 people. Don't look back. Jesus is so much more."
Martin Luther said that when a church is erected, the devil sets up shop next door. Brother Martin was wrong.The devil sets up shop in the Narthex of the church.
From my perspective, you have to ask yourself if attending church and being on the fringes the way other people here have described, out of any leadership role whatsoever, is the answer for you. If it isn't, you may be better living out what one of your commenters said: "To have church, you need 2 people. Don't look back. Jesus is so much more."
Friday, September 07, 2007
And I quote...
Long, but WELL worth the read. And I'm hoping it sparks some interesting discussion. From an Australian blogger I discovered through my friend Jon's blog--too good/challenging to not quote in its entirety (it's my favorite subject!):
Social Justice And Christianity
Matthew 25:31-46 has always fascinated me. For most of my Christian life it was one of those passages I skimmed over, mainly because I knew that if I looked at it too closely, it would challenge me to step way out of my comfort zone, and that can be a difficult place to be. In recent years, however, my desire to be more like Jesus has overcome my fear of studying these verses and I have started delving into them a little further.
Many church leaders I have spoken to believe that “missions”, “outreach” and “providing for the needy” are jobs for a minority of Christians – those who have been “specifically called” to that particular ministry. They set up departments in their churches to cater for the few who have a passion for these things and then say that they have done their bit. Once that has been done, they can get on with the more important issues of preaching, music, small groups and the general running of the church. These things are all important in a church, but I believe that Matthew 25 blows this kind of mentality out of the water.
In this passage the way Jesus distinguishes those who will be with him throughout eternity, from those who will not, is based on their passion for social justice. Those who took care of the needs of the people around them and made time for those who were not socially accepted are the ones who Jesus said would share in his inheritance. Those who did not provide for the needy or care for the socially unacceptable were sent to “eternal punishment”.
Jesus effectively says that if you don’t help those in need, you will not be known by him. That is a pretty big call. As Christians we focus on so many aspects of God that I think we can easily lose the importance of this story. John 3:17 reinforces this way of thinking, saying that if we have material possessions but do not provide for those in need, then God’s love is not in us.
It seems difficult from these scriptures, to separate social justice and actively loving others from salvation and a personal relationship with Jesus. I guess if you love God wholeheartedly, from that should flow a love for his creation, and from that a demonstration of love in action.
Social Justice And Christianity
Matthew 25:31-46 has always fascinated me. For most of my Christian life it was one of those passages I skimmed over, mainly because I knew that if I looked at it too closely, it would challenge me to step way out of my comfort zone, and that can be a difficult place to be. In recent years, however, my desire to be more like Jesus has overcome my fear of studying these verses and I have started delving into them a little further.
Many church leaders I have spoken to believe that “missions”, “outreach” and “providing for the needy” are jobs for a minority of Christians – those who have been “specifically called” to that particular ministry. They set up departments in their churches to cater for the few who have a passion for these things and then say that they have done their bit. Once that has been done, they can get on with the more important issues of preaching, music, small groups and the general running of the church. These things are all important in a church, but I believe that Matthew 25 blows this kind of mentality out of the water.
In this passage the way Jesus distinguishes those who will be with him throughout eternity, from those who will not, is based on their passion for social justice. Those who took care of the needs of the people around them and made time for those who were not socially accepted are the ones who Jesus said would share in his inheritance. Those who did not provide for the needy or care for the socially unacceptable were sent to “eternal punishment”.
Jesus effectively says that if you don’t help those in need, you will not be known by him. That is a pretty big call. As Christians we focus on so many aspects of God that I think we can easily lose the importance of this story. John 3:17 reinforces this way of thinking, saying that if we have material possessions but do not provide for those in need, then God’s love is not in us.
It seems difficult from these scriptures, to separate social justice and actively loving others from salvation and a personal relationship with Jesus. I guess if you love God wholeheartedly, from that should flow a love for his creation, and from that a demonstration of love in action.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
God says....
"...and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday." Isaiah 58:10
God's saying a lot of things right now...but it all seems to come right back to this.
If you pray, please toss my name in there somewhere. I need some peace of mind and clarity of vision.
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday." Isaiah 58:10
God's saying a lot of things right now...but it all seems to come right back to this.
If you pray, please toss my name in there somewhere. I need some peace of mind and clarity of vision.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Still recovering...
...from my not-nearly-long-enough Labor Day weekend trip to Mississippi. I have a whole page full of notes and will be back shortly to expound on those little scribbly phrases that I'm hoping caught the essence of the moments well enough that I can rebuild the stories. (Silly me--I thought I wouldn't need a computer since I could check my email from my phone...I had no idea that God would be constantly whispering in my ear.)
Godstock is Saturday and I'm pretty overwhelmed right now with everything involved in that, but I have a lot to say when I have the time. And the energy. I feel like I'm dragging my brain behind me right now.
Godstock is Saturday and I'm pretty overwhelmed right now with everything involved in that, but I have a lot to say when I have the time. And the energy. I feel like I'm dragging my brain behind me right now.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Missional thinking...
Too good to not quote in its entirety. From Larry Chouinard at Spiritual Conversations.
You might have missional tendencies if:
1. You talk more about the Kingdom of God than you do your local church.
2. You are more in awe of the radical Jesus than you are the charisma of your pastor/preacher.
3. You feel a greater sense of community in the parking lot than in the pews.
4. You've oftened muttered leaving a 'church service', "there's got to be more to it than this".
5. You've often wondered why the church couldn't meet in the park or Starbucks once in a while.
6. You've cringed at the coldness and indifference of church people when someone shows up at our 'church service' that looks and smells different.
7. You've wondered why Christians only hang-out with Christians when Jesus seemingly never missed an opportunity to party with the riff-raff.
8. You've wondered what God does the other six days of the week.
9. You've had the urge to spill your guts to the next artificial inquiry, "I'm fine, how are you?".
10. You've had the compelling urge to join the preacher at the podium to present an alternative perspective.
11. You've wanted to fall to your knees while everyone stood for another happy-clappy song.
12. You've wanted to close a 'service' by shouting from your pew, "NOW WHAT?"
13. You sometimes find more spiritual depth and authenticity in the lives of those who do not go to church.
You might have missional tendencies if:
1. You talk more about the Kingdom of God than you do your local church.
2. You are more in awe of the radical Jesus than you are the charisma of your pastor/preacher.
3. You feel a greater sense of community in the parking lot than in the pews.
4. You've oftened muttered leaving a 'church service', "there's got to be more to it than this".
5. You've often wondered why the church couldn't meet in the park or Starbucks once in a while.
6. You've cringed at the coldness and indifference of church people when someone shows up at our 'church service' that looks and smells different.
7. You've wondered why Christians only hang-out with Christians when Jesus seemingly never missed an opportunity to party with the riff-raff.
8. You've wondered what God does the other six days of the week.
9. You've had the urge to spill your guts to the next artificial inquiry, "I'm fine, how are you?".
10. You've had the compelling urge to join the preacher at the podium to present an alternative perspective.
11. You've wanted to fall to your knees while everyone stood for another happy-clappy song.
12. You've wanted to close a 'service' by shouting from your pew, "NOW WHAT?"
13. You sometimes find more spiritual depth and authenticity in the lives of those who do not go to church.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
The big purple pie...
So, in the spirit of all things transparent, I've taken a deep breath and decided to (actually quite literally!) put my money (or lack thereof) where my mouth is.
I'm committed to being out of debt (and by "out of debt", I mean completely--including no house or car payment) by the end of next year. Doable? Yes. Tough? YES. But committed I am...and now that I've posted it for the world to read, I have even more of a reason to stick to it--I would hate to have to admit failure to the entire world!
So...you're all invited to keep watch as I slice away at that purple pie. Right now, I'm pretty excited. Check back with me in a few months...we'll see how I feel about it then. I put myself on a strict, but not stupidly so, budget a couple of months ago and it's amazing how much progress I've made already. I don't really mind my new way of life...living with less makes me value more what I DO have. And makes me look forward with great anticipation to what I WILL have someday (financial freedom).
I'm committed to being out of debt (and by "out of debt", I mean completely--including no house or car payment) by the end of next year. Doable? Yes. Tough? YES. But committed I am...and now that I've posted it for the world to read, I have even more of a reason to stick to it--I would hate to have to admit failure to the entire world!
So...you're all invited to keep watch as I slice away at that purple pie. Right now, I'm pretty excited. Check back with me in a few months...we'll see how I feel about it then. I put myself on a strict, but not stupidly so, budget a couple of months ago and it's amazing how much progress I've made already. I don't really mind my new way of life...living with less makes me value more what I DO have. And makes me look forward with great anticipation to what I WILL have someday (financial freedom).
"Crazy Sexy Cancer"...
This is Kris Carr's story of her journey since she was diagnosed in 2003 with a rare, incurable cancer. I love the quote on the homepage of the Crazy Sexy Cancer website: "Why, when we are challenged to survive, do we give ourselves permission to truly live?"
Her documentary film will air on TLC on August 29 and her book goes on sale August 27.
I can't do her story justice...the website's great. Can't wait to see the documentary.
Her documentary film will air on TLC on August 29 and her book goes on sale August 27.
I can't do her story justice...the website's great. Can't wait to see the documentary.
It annoys me. More than MySpace. So, I'm just going to look at everyone's lovely photo albums and leave the rest of it alone. I don't need any more annoyances in my life.
That's all. ;-)
That's all. ;-)
Friday, August 24, 2007
So...I've learned something new!
I've added RSS feeds from four of my more "talkative" blogger friends. I don't always have something new to say, but these guys usually do.
"NakedPastor" always has something to say...even if you don't agree with him (I mostly DO), the ensuing conversation is usually quite stimulating. If you're looking for transparency (hence, the "naked" title), David seems quite willing to oblige. He's certainly challenging me, transparent though I believe myself to be, to step it up a notch.
"Love in the Key of Longbrake" is...well, just incredible. Joshua is seriously an AMAZING artist...as skilled in painting a beautiful canvas of words as he is with the photos he shoots. He's on a cross-country journey right now--from Indiana to a seminary in Seattle. He's one of those people I would love to meet someday, but would probably be so awestruck and tongue-tied I would make a fool of myself (THAT doesn't happen often! Well, the tongue-tied part, anyway...)
"Something Else..." is Jon's blog--another step in his journey of living authentically. He's been talking about "intentional community" lately and, of course, that's one of my favorite subjects. He is thought-provoking, blunt, and a deep thinker.
"Defined" is from Nate...also quite thought-provoking (must be a family trait or something!) I appreciate his perspective--I love the "iron sharpening iron" process when believers don't see quite eye-to-eye on something.
Thanks to Hersch for being the bridge that led me to Longbrake and Jon...and indirectly then to Nate--I'm glad my world includes their voices.
"NakedPastor" always has something to say...even if you don't agree with him (I mostly DO), the ensuing conversation is usually quite stimulating. If you're looking for transparency (hence, the "naked" title), David seems quite willing to oblige. He's certainly challenging me, transparent though I believe myself to be, to step it up a notch.
"Love in the Key of Longbrake" is...well, just incredible. Joshua is seriously an AMAZING artist...as skilled in painting a beautiful canvas of words as he is with the photos he shoots. He's on a cross-country journey right now--from Indiana to a seminary in Seattle. He's one of those people I would love to meet someday, but would probably be so awestruck and tongue-tied I would make a fool of myself (THAT doesn't happen often! Well, the tongue-tied part, anyway...)
"Something Else..." is Jon's blog--another step in his journey of living authentically. He's been talking about "intentional community" lately and, of course, that's one of my favorite subjects. He is thought-provoking, blunt, and a deep thinker.
"Defined" is from Nate...also quite thought-provoking (must be a family trait or something!) I appreciate his perspective--I love the "iron sharpening iron" process when believers don't see quite eye-to-eye on something.
Thanks to Hersch for being the bridge that led me to Longbrake and Jon...and indirectly then to Nate--I'm glad my world includes their voices.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
"Red is grey and yellow white...
...But we decide which is right. And which is an illusion."
And how, then, do we decide? And, how do we "justify" that decision when it flies in the face of everything we've believed for...oh, most of our lifetimes?
So I've been thinking a lot lately. Thoughts that have turned my world totally upside down. But upside down in a good way, I think, because I've stopped to examine parts of my belief system in a new light. Things are not always what they seem. Some of what I've always "seen" in one color now seems to be another...and I must decide what's right and what's illusion.
God is not a Republican. Dr. Dobson is NOT the spokesman for the American church. Jesus was not a Christian.
I listened recently as a friend told me that the Clintons (for whom I do NOT care, just so you'll know) are "single-handedly responsible" for the moral decline in the United States over the past few years. Sorry. Don't buy that. Take responsibility for your own morality...or lack thereof. The Clintons certainly have not been the poster children for all that's right in the US, but..."single-handedly responsible"? No way. We became a nation of excuse-makers and rule-breakers and liberty-takers LONG before Bill Clinton took office or Monica Lewinsky was even born.
I've decided I really loathe politicians in general...and some in specific. Not just because they're Democrats, because some of them aren't. Some of them are (gasp!) Republicans. Greed and stupidity (and maybe even just pure, unadulterated evil) run rampant on both sides of the aisle. God isn't looking to see if they're red or blue--he's looking for a heart that loves him. (And if he really had to choose a political party, it would probably be the Green Party--at least, they're about social justice and taking care of the natural resources we've been given).
And I'm sick of the self-righteous crap coming out of Colorado Springs. Dobson is not the poster-boy for all things Christian...and he doesn't speak for me. Well, on second thought, maybe he IS the spokesman for the American church--maybe that's at least part of what's wrong with the American church! The body of Christ needs to get back to being the body of Christ--if we would do what we're called to do (love others, serve others, etc.), we wouldn't need Dobson and others of his ilk politicizing the church and trying to legislate morality.
I've posted some of the "Christian vs. Christ Follower" videos because they line up pretty well with what I've been thinking lately...I can't help but believe that God must want to vomit (it's scriptural!) over much of the lukewarm crap that masquerades for "church" here in America today. But hey, we're wearing our "secular"-logo-knockoff Christianized t-shirts ('cause they'll know we are Christians by our clothes, right?), listening to our "family friendly" Christian-music-only radio, and parking our butts on a pew for an hour every Sunday morning to get our "God fix" for the week, so we must be okay.
What happened to living the life of a follower of Jesus every day? Do we even have a clue what that looks like? And how it might completely rock our world if we actually did it?
The bottom line is: I'm fed up with life as usual. I'm fed up with church as usual. And now I have to decide what to do with all of this being fed up. What is right? What is an illusion?
And how, then, do we decide? And, how do we "justify" that decision when it flies in the face of everything we've believed for...oh, most of our lifetimes?
So I've been thinking a lot lately. Thoughts that have turned my world totally upside down. But upside down in a good way, I think, because I've stopped to examine parts of my belief system in a new light. Things are not always what they seem. Some of what I've always "seen" in one color now seems to be another...and I must decide what's right and what's illusion.
God is not a Republican. Dr. Dobson is NOT the spokesman for the American church. Jesus was not a Christian.
I listened recently as a friend told me that the Clintons (for whom I do NOT care, just so you'll know) are "single-handedly responsible" for the moral decline in the United States over the past few years. Sorry. Don't buy that. Take responsibility for your own morality...or lack thereof. The Clintons certainly have not been the poster children for all that's right in the US, but..."single-handedly responsible"? No way. We became a nation of excuse-makers and rule-breakers and liberty-takers LONG before Bill Clinton took office or Monica Lewinsky was even born.
I've decided I really loathe politicians in general...and some in specific. Not just because they're Democrats, because some of them aren't. Some of them are (gasp!) Republicans. Greed and stupidity (and maybe even just pure, unadulterated evil) run rampant on both sides of the aisle. God isn't looking to see if they're red or blue--he's looking for a heart that loves him. (And if he really had to choose a political party, it would probably be the Green Party--at least, they're about social justice and taking care of the natural resources we've been given).
And I'm sick of the self-righteous crap coming out of Colorado Springs. Dobson is not the poster-boy for all things Christian...and he doesn't speak for me. Well, on second thought, maybe he IS the spokesman for the American church--maybe that's at least part of what's wrong with the American church! The body of Christ needs to get back to being the body of Christ--if we would do what we're called to do (love others, serve others, etc.), we wouldn't need Dobson and others of his ilk politicizing the church and trying to legislate morality.
I've posted some of the "Christian vs. Christ Follower" videos because they line up pretty well with what I've been thinking lately...I can't help but believe that God must want to vomit (it's scriptural!) over much of the lukewarm crap that masquerades for "church" here in America today. But hey, we're wearing our "secular"-logo-knockoff Christianized t-shirts ('cause they'll know we are Christians by our clothes, right?), listening to our "family friendly" Christian-music-only radio, and parking our butts on a pew for an hour every Sunday morning to get our "God fix" for the week, so we must be okay.
What happened to living the life of a follower of Jesus every day? Do we even have a clue what that looks like? And how it might completely rock our world if we actually did it?
The bottom line is: I'm fed up with life as usual. I'm fed up with church as usual. And now I have to decide what to do with all of this being fed up. What is right? What is an illusion?
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Someday I'll find my voice again...
...or maybe the voice isn't really lost--just hesitant to speak up about the thoughts that have been running through my head lately. Until I'm feeling braver, here's a Franciscan blessing:
May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and
To turn their pain into joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.
Amen.
May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and
To turn their pain into joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.
Amen.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
How, then, shall we live...?
"At our best, we become Sabbath for one another. We are the emptiness, the day of rest. We become space, that our loved ones, the lost and sorrowful, may find rest in us." Wayne Muller from "Sabbath"
Monday, August 06, 2007
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Think on this...
"The gospel doesn't reside in western Michigan or Wheaton, IL or Dallas, TX, or Colorado Springs. The gospel isn't exported with American missionaries to other countries. The gospel is nomadic, a God-created gypsy, a "word" without a country, yet comfortably at home in all cultures."--From the African Bible Commentary
Friday, August 03, 2007
I'm a Christ Follower (Mac vs. PC Parody) Part 03
Are YOU "down with the JC?" ;-) This is my favorite one so far. And, just for the record, *I* am listening mostly to Nanci Griffith right now on my NON-JPod. Wonder if he has a "Contemporary Christian Folk" genre on that thing...??
Thursday, August 02, 2007
I'm a Christ Follower (Mac vs. PC Parody) Part 02
If anyone has heard me ranting about those STUPID offering envelopes, you'll know I was laughing hysterically when I watched this one!!
Monday, July 30, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Shaun Groves says...
Whatever you decide to do for a living, decide to love God more than yourself, love the poor and the sick and the hopeless more than your own happiness, love the intern as much as the boss, love your kids more than a promotion, love your wife more than your laptop. This is God’s will for your entire life. To pull this off you’ll need to buy as little as you can. The more stuff you own the more you’ll feel you have to work, the more depressed you’ll be when work isn’t fun, and the more you’ll equate God’s will with what you do for work, and the less time you’ll have to discover all the other things life is supposed to be about.
Dena says....AMEN!!!!
Wish someone had told me all of that about 20 years ago...or even ten. If they had, I might have discovered what life is all about when I was 30-something. Good thing is, it's never too old to start over. It certainly takes a lot of work to get rid of all the junk I've accumulated, though.
Dena says....AMEN!!!!
Wish someone had told me all of that about 20 years ago...or even ten. If they had, I might have discovered what life is all about when I was 30-something. Good thing is, it's never too old to start over. It certainly takes a lot of work to get rid of all the junk I've accumulated, though.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Iron sharpening iron...
...causes sparks.
I've been studying quite a bit lately about "intentional community". I'm fascinated by the concept...so much so that I honestly don't think I would be opposed to living in a community/group-living situation. Of course, I like my "space", too, so what seems ideal right now, after too many years of just me and the cat, might prove a bit more than I could handle for more than a week or so. I'd like to try it, though...seems like it would be extended-stay church camp. Until someone used my toothpaste. Or borrowed the book I was reading. Or ate "my" last banana.
We have a community of sorts (well, it IS "community"--we just don't live together) in our small group. It's been a psychology student/people-watcher's dream to see how our various lives have melded together into one body. It's fluid. Unexpected things happen. God shows up in our midst. We laugh. We cry. We talk about deep, "relevant" issues. And sometimes about sports. (Well, usually about sports and other deep, relevant issues.) ;-) We eat good stuff. We love each other.
We don't, however, always like each other, I think. Personalities clash. Politics make ugly "body-fellows" at times. We don't always understand one another...and sometimes we don't even try.
And yet, we're sticking together. Even with our clashing personalities and political views and differing opinions. And I see God at work...even amidst the sometimes-flying sparks. I know I've been changed. And it's been good. Even when it's been tough.
And I don't have to worry about anyone using my toothpaste.
I've been studying quite a bit lately about "intentional community". I'm fascinated by the concept...so much so that I honestly don't think I would be opposed to living in a community/group-living situation. Of course, I like my "space", too, so what seems ideal right now, after too many years of just me and the cat, might prove a bit more than I could handle for more than a week or so. I'd like to try it, though...seems like it would be extended-stay church camp. Until someone used my toothpaste. Or borrowed the book I was reading. Or ate "my" last banana.
We have a community of sorts (well, it IS "community"--we just don't live together) in our small group. It's been a psychology student/people-watcher's dream to see how our various lives have melded together into one body. It's fluid. Unexpected things happen. God shows up in our midst. We laugh. We cry. We talk about deep, "relevant" issues. And sometimes about sports. (Well, usually about sports and other deep, relevant issues.) ;-) We eat good stuff. We love each other.
We don't, however, always like each other, I think. Personalities clash. Politics make ugly "body-fellows" at times. We don't always understand one another...and sometimes we don't even try.
And yet, we're sticking together. Even with our clashing personalities and political views and differing opinions. And I see God at work...even amidst the sometimes-flying sparks. I know I've been changed. And it's been good. Even when it's been tough.
And I don't have to worry about anyone using my toothpaste.
Monday, July 23, 2007
GKK--Living example of Isaiah 58:10
Not my video--I found it on YouTube...good stuff. (Not guilty of the misspelled words!) ;-)
What I'm learning...
People are beautiful. And ugly. And beautiful and ugly at the same time, all rolled into one big, sometimes indecipherable ball. We're attracted to the beautiful parts, but when we start building relationships--real community with others--we have to make the choice, somewhere, that we're going to accept the ugly along with the beautiful and learn to deal with it. Or not.
There's a price to pay, either way. I was reminded of that again this week. As you dig deeper in in any type of relationship, as the "newness" wears off, as you start to see people for who they really are when they're being real, you're just bound to run smack into something ugly that you don't really like all that much. And then you're faced with the choice: do I walk away and keep myself insulated from the "junk" or do I dive in and embrace the ugliness, knowing there's more beauty on the other side?
I'm diving.
And I hope others, when faced with the ugliness buried beneath my smile, make that same choice with me.
There's a price to pay, either way. I was reminded of that again this week. As you dig deeper in in any type of relationship, as the "newness" wears off, as you start to see people for who they really are when they're being real, you're just bound to run smack into something ugly that you don't really like all that much. And then you're faced with the choice: do I walk away and keep myself insulated from the "junk" or do I dive in and embrace the ugliness, knowing there's more beauty on the other side?
I'm diving.
And I hope others, when faced with the ugliness buried beneath my smile, make that same choice with me.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt...
I'm still looking for the words. Not finding them. What do you say when your life is completely changed? When all that seemed so worth pursuing and gaining now seems worthless and ugly? And all that seemed alien and for "someone else" now seems the most beautiful way? How do you explain that you went somewhere to be the hands and feet of Jesus to the hurting and realized that YOU were really the hurting one and Jesus wrapped his beautiful, dirty/homeless/broken/addicted/scared/angry/schizophrenic arms around you so tightly that you could scarcely breathe and whispered peace and love and joy in your ear? And you FINALLY understood what it means to be the body of Christ?GKK has changed my life. It's where my heart has found a home. It's where I met Dave. And Mark. And Greta. And Mary Edna. Regina and Jack. Heather. Freddie and Van. Matt. Danny. Eric. Liz. Chico. Cheyanne. Annie. LT. Mike. Beth. Josh. Kevin. Greg. Vicki. Phil. Mr. Bill. Mrs. Hue. Gabe. Uncle Larry. Nash. Ralph. Mary. Jeff. Thurman. Miss Rose. Sammy. Melvin. Ryan. Lezlie. Melea.
Many churches, one God. Many hands, one body. Many hearts...one home.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
I'm listening, I'm listening!!
So...when you hear a song four times in less than 24 hours, what do you think? WIBI needs to change their "heavy rotation" selections? Right/wrong place at the right/wrong time? Maybe God's trying to get your attention through one of the normal channels he uses? Maybe I should listen closely? I did.
I love this song...it's one that I (no exaggeration) crank up the volume as LOUD as I can get it (unfortunately, in the Jeep, that's really not all that loud) and sing at the top of my lungs...well, sing all the words I know at the top of my lungs, anyway. This is one of those songs that I've never taken the time to actually read the lyrics, so I knew most of the words, but there are a few lines that I've never understood what he's saying. I looked them up today.
Funny thing. The lines I never understood (the ones I've bold-faced/italicized) were the ones that I needed to hear right now. God's like that, isn't he? I love those days when I feel like I've been given a whole new lease on life...yesterday's all been washed clean, today's an empty slate and I hold a brand new piece of chalk.
"Burn for You"--TobyMac
I’m a brand new man, I’m a conscious man
I’m a man who’s burnin’ for you
The mistakes I’ve made have been chased away to the bottom of the ocean blue
I’m a brand new man in a foreign land, I’m a man who’s feelin’ that fire
And it’s all so clear when I’m standing here at the peak of my desire
So won’t you move me like you used to
I want the world to know I burn for you
I feel revived again, I am alive again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
I feel revived again, I’m energized again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
Woke up in a sweat, those ghosts in my head
Had a grip, but I slipped on by
It’s a whole new day as the darkness fades
And the sun’s climbing in the sky
I concede, my love, that I need your love
I’m before you, a broken man
And it’s only you, no substitutes who can renew this soul again
You got me higher than Kilimanjaro
Got me believin’ I can “save the day”
I’m up and running like their ain’t no tomorrow
I’d rather burn for you than fade away
I’d rather burn for you than go my way
I’m a whole new guy with a whole new vibe
Changed inside – more flame in the fire
Can’t stop, won’t stop praying for desire
Like the bunny on the screen feel so energized
Old shell gone without a trace, new face
No more shortness of breath, new pace
Live life now without the taste of fear
TOBYMAC, Double Dutch now let the smoke clear
I love this song...it's one that I (no exaggeration) crank up the volume as LOUD as I can get it (unfortunately, in the Jeep, that's really not all that loud) and sing at the top of my lungs...well, sing all the words I know at the top of my lungs, anyway. This is one of those songs that I've never taken the time to actually read the lyrics, so I knew most of the words, but there are a few lines that I've never understood what he's saying. I looked them up today.
Funny thing. The lines I never understood (the ones I've bold-faced/italicized) were the ones that I needed to hear right now. God's like that, isn't he? I love those days when I feel like I've been given a whole new lease on life...yesterday's all been washed clean, today's an empty slate and I hold a brand new piece of chalk.
"Burn for You"--TobyMac
I’m a brand new man, I’m a conscious man
I’m a man who’s burnin’ for you
The mistakes I’ve made have been chased away to the bottom of the ocean blue
I’m a brand new man in a foreign land, I’m a man who’s feelin’ that fire
And it’s all so clear when I’m standing here at the peak of my desire
So won’t you move me like you used to
I want the world to know I burn for you
I feel revived again, I am alive again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
I feel revived again, I’m energized again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
Woke up in a sweat, those ghosts in my head
Had a grip, but I slipped on by
It’s a whole new day as the darkness fades
And the sun’s climbing in the sky
I concede, my love, that I need your love
I’m before you, a broken man
And it’s only you, no substitutes who can renew this soul again
You got me higher than Kilimanjaro
Got me believin’ I can “save the day”
I’m up and running like their ain’t no tomorrow
I’d rather burn for you than fade away
I’d rather burn for you than go my way
I’m a whole new guy with a whole new vibe
Changed inside – more flame in the fire
Can’t stop, won’t stop praying for desire
Like the bunny on the screen feel so energized
Old shell gone without a trace, new face
No more shortness of breath, new pace
Live life now without the taste of fear
TOBYMAC, Double Dutch now let the smoke clear
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