...I'm hanging by the thinnest of threads tonight. Like one small gust of wind could detach me from my perch and fling me off into the night sky. It's not truth. The thread is strong and I know it. But I feel it and it scares me. My foundation just doesn't feel very firm right now.
I'm tired. I got my butt kicked by my dear friend John's sermon this morning. I love him. I hate him. No, I DO love him. And he loves me, which is why he speaks truth to me without sugarcoating it. He was preaching to me today (he mentioned me BY NAME twice--can't get much more direct than that!) His question was "what would you do for Jesus if you knew you couldn't fail?" If I really KNEW I couldn't fail, I might not feel like I'm swinging on a thread over a deep abyss. But maybe the answer to the question is "cut the thread". And maybe I don't want to think about that possibility right now.
A speck of dust...
- Dena G
- ...but enthralling to Him. I'm just me...a follower of Jesus (that should be enough, eh?) who hopes I am, at least some of the time, "blooming most recklessly" in a way that reflects Him and the amazing way He moves in my life.
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2 comments:
That's a tricky question. Butt-kicking, fo sho.
It reminds me of something I read in a book by Watchman Nee recently...he was talking about our ability to live the Christian life and love people like Jesus, and how on the one hand we are totally incapable, but on the other hand, Christ is totally capable. He says that God asks us to live a life that we are totally incapable of living, not because he wants to frustrate us, but because He has total confidence in His Son who lives inside of us. I love that picture. God knows how weak I am, but He has total confidence in Christ and His ability to do God's work through me. Sweet :)
Been there. Conviction is no fun. Also embarassing. Cause you know God knows. That sucks.
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