Read the book...

...do NOT wait for the movie.

And be prepared for some serious butt-kicking, if you're sincerely seeking a way to TRULY live the "real" gospel today...if you're tired of church being "business" (BIG business at times)-as-usual.

The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne.

Run, do not walk. Buy it, borrow it, (please don't steal it, though--I'll loan you my copy if you're that desperate!) and READ it. And then maybe we can talk about what it means to live it...and how our attachments to our "stuff" (our idols? Ouch!) prevents us from functioning as God has always intended the Body of Christ to function.

Being sick sucks...

...and being sick on a Saturday especially sucks. Most of the people in my office have been sick this week and half of them ended up going home early one day or another. My day to get sick, of course, was Friday and I had so much to do, I simply refused to give up and leave early, even though I felt HORRIBLE. I stuck it out--and paid the price today. I have spent the entire day, minus a few times of getting up to refill my coffee cup, take some ibuprofen, go to the bathroom, and scrounge for food (I made wise use of my time and multi-tasked every time!), lying on the couch, barely able to breathe, head pounding, muscles aching--all that lovely stuff that comes with a really bad cold. All I can say is "thank God for NetFlix and my couch". And my mom and her potato soup. :-)

I'm feeling better. I usually get sick once a year and I'm claiming this as my "one time" and not feeling too disturbed over it. But...it really annoys me that I had to waste a Saturday, when I could have taken a sick day during the week and still had Saturday to enjoy. I had a list of things I needed to get done today (vacuum up cat hair, do my laundry, pay bills, etc.) and I just couldn't manage to do any of it. I DID, however, manage to catch up on my blog reading, so I guess there's always a silver lining, eh?!

And, of course, I'm irritated for feeling sorry for myself--if all I have is a little cold, I am truly blessed. I have friends right now who are facing serious stuff--some of them are dealing with life-threatening illnesses...and here I am griping about a snotty nose. I got some much-needed rest today and I'm just going to try to be grateful for that and forget about the feeling sorry for myself junk. A hot shower and fresh jammies have worked wonders...and my fever is gone, so it's been a good day!

"Lady in the Water"--a review of sorts...and other stuff

Well...I watched this movie tonight. I am a die-hard M. Night Shyamalan fan and somehow didn't really believe (no matter what I'd been told) that I should prepare to be disappointed by this film. Sometimes you should trust your friends. I was disappointed. Frankly, I hated the movie. The only thing that kept me watching to the end was the unrealized hope that somehow, somewhere, Mr. Shyamalan would redeem himself and show some brilliance. Bleahhhh.

However, I DID watch all the miscellaneous "special feature" stuff and was pleasantly surprised. The man truly IS a genius, even if I'm not catching the drift of his "geniusness" in this movie. Maybe it's just because I'm sick and there's too much...well, nasty stuff, clogging up my head right now for me to see past the surface into the murky waters (ha!) of this movie. I found it very interesting, however, to hear Shyamalan talk about the meaning behind the movie--again and again, he (and other cast/production members) emphasized that things (and people) are not always what they seem...you peg someone as what you think they are (their role in life, that is) and they turn out, in the end, to have a different role than what we expect.

That really caught my attention, because I've been thinking a lot lately about the life roles we (or even other people) put ourselves in...and the reasonings behind those reasons. Do we become what we think people expect us to become? Do we abandon the purposes for which we are created just because we're trying to "fit in" to society's expectations? Someone else's "script"? Someone told me yesterday that he's been living his entire life, trying to anticipate what other people expect him to be, so he can "become" that person when dealing with them, instead of being himself. He's tired of playing all the parts...and is just now getting a glimpse of who he "really" is--and his may not be a personality that will mesh with the masses, but if it's who God created him to be, what's more important?

And then I turn my eyes to myself. Am I being true to the heart God created in me? In some ways, yes, but in many ways, no. I wonder, almost on a daily basis, what's really important about staying in my job another 3 years just so I can have free insurance and a "full" (don't even get me started on that...) pension when I retire. The practical nature in me says it's "only" 3 years, but I'm not even guaranteed tomorrow.

I hope that, if God speaks specifically to me next week and tells me to quit my job and go to a far-flung (or even not so far-flung) mission field, I would hear and be obedient, but what if it's not even as "big" as that? What if one of my secrets is I would REALLY like to be an airline flight attendant? (Not so secret anymore, eh?!) What if that's truly part of the nature God created in me when He first breathed life and spirit in me? What if the servant's heart He put in me could best be served by handing out pretzels and Diet Coke on a plane flying over the fruited plains?

Hmmm.

Does Anybody Hear Her?

She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening in the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older and she's three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her
Can anybody see
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her

Can anybody see
She is yearning
For shelter and affection that she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming and he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason and she gives herself away
If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her

Does anybody hear her
Can anybody see
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her

~~Mark Hall, Casting Crowns

Quoting...

Love without courage and wisdom is sentimentality, as with the ordinary church member. Courage without love and wisdom is foolhardiness, as with the ordinary soldier. Wisdom without love and courage is cowardice, as with the ordinary intellectual. But the one who has love, courage, and wisdom moves the world. ~~Ammon Hennacy

God, grant me all three. A double shot, please. I do NOT want to be ordinary.

Open for discussion--the subject of "possibility"...

I had an interesting conversation of sorts this morning. "Of sorts", because it started out with a text message, was relatively brief and consisted mostly of me listening. (Which is a good thing for me to do sometimes, but doesn't always lend itself too well to the whole "conversation" thing.)

The subject matter: Emily Dickinson's poem #657, which begins:

I dwell in Possibility--
A fairer House than Prose--
More numerous of Windows--
Superior--for Doors -

Lately, I've noticed that first line a lot--one of my friends uses it as her email signature, I have a plaque with the phrase printed on it and it crops up quite a bit in motivational context. I've enjoyed seeing my favorite poet get some widespread, modern-day exposure.

So...in a little poetry-quoting exchange this morning, I text-messaged that line to a fellow thinker-of-a-lot-of-things...and got a whole lot more than poetry in return. And I've been ruminating (I mean "pondering"--did you know it also means "chewing cud"?) on it all day. I should have been taking notes, because I've taken it apart and examined it so much that I can't put it back together in its original packaging, but...he basically told me that, if I choose to "dwell in possibility", I'm not moving purposefully in any direction--I'm living in a state of "anything can happen" (which is, in itself, entirely true), but if I sit there all my life waiting for the possibility of anything to happen, I'm...well, I'm missing it.

God tells me to "go", "be", "do", "tell", "work"...and those are all actions. (He also tells me to "wait", but my sense is that this is an action, too, not a position of lying down and doing nothing.) I have some fear that I HAVE "missed it" to some extent--that I have such huge hope that anything CAN happen that, in some areas of my life, I've focused more on the dreaming about possibilities and less on the actions required to see A dream become reality.

In all honesty, from my studying the commentaries of those who are more expert on Miss Emily's poems than I am, I think the general population has misinterpreted the meaning of this poem and appropriated one line out of context for its own use (because it DOES sound good!), so I'm not really asking for commentary about the poem itself, unless, of course, you feel particularly constrained to do so!

I AM interested in hearing some other viewpoints/interpretations on the whole "dwelling" thing. How do we move past the possibility into reality? Is that scary for anyone else? It is for me.

It'll do for now...

At least, it's not nauseating Pepto Pink! It's also not the wintry atmosphere I had envisioned, but maybe I need a bit of warmth, since I'm currently chilled to the bone and wishing for a warmer climate (Florida in 30 days--yay!!)

I WAS excited about the snow today...so excited, in fact, that I loudly proclaimed "It's SNOWING!!" to everyone in our lobby this morning...not that any of them really cared, I think, nor did they particularly care to see me excitedly jumping up and down, alternating between smiling over the snow and wincing when my poor, still-tender feet hit the ground, but I proclaimed, jumped, and winced nonetheless. Ah, well...both the snow and the pain were short-lived. As was the Pepto-Bismol Pink background (long and winding road, but I eventually made it back to the original subject matter).

I don't like pink...

...but I was tired of the old autumnal colors. Can't find anything really "wintry" that I like--actually don't really like ANY of these templates, but I don't know how to import a template from somewhere else. I found one awhile back that I LOVED and couldn't figure out how to make it work, so I just gave up and went with one of the boring ones on here.

Can someone rescue me from this sea of Pepto-Bismol-ish pink?

"I have a brain cloud"...

If you're a Joe Vs. the Volcano fan, you'll recognize that line. You should, anyway. It's the disease that Joe is "diagnosed" with that makes him throw all caution to the wind and go live his life with reckless abandon.

Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the type of brain cloud I'm blessed with at the moment. I honestly feel like there's a dense blanket of fog in my head and it's preventing me from thinking as "clearily" (one of my favorite recently-created words) as I should. I told a friend the other night that I feel like I'm right on the edge of truly "getting" something really big and life-changing, but I just can't quite seem to step into it. It's like it's waiting for me around a corner, but I haven't gotten to the corner yet. And, on top of that, I'm just tired. Emotionally drained, actually, which, in turn, physically drains me...and adds to that fog in my head.

I'm not big on making "resolutions" for the new year and, really, not even all that much in favor of the whole big "to do" about New Year's Eve--I mean, it's one minute's difference on the clock, for heaven's sake! Did everything REALLY change all that much, just because a minute passed? Is there really that much to celebrate because we're now in 2007, instead of 2006? Is the world all different now, somehow washed clean and brand-new? (I think I'm going somewhere with this, but it's mostly just stream-of-consciousness rambling...)

I suppose there's not one of us who couldn't use a "new start" now and then, of course. I ended 2006 in a stupid flurry of hurting people dear to me--not intentionally at all, but my insensitivity, self-defensiveness, lack of faith and just plain obtuseness put me in prime position for wounding those I love. And I did a good job of it. So, I'd say a "new start" is a good idea for me. Not because the calendar has a new number on it, but just because I need to quit acting stupid. Every minute is precious...and an opportunity for a new start. Thank God for His grace...immeasurable gift it is, indeed.

Maybe that will lift some of the cloud, eh?

Thanks, Sara Groves and Os Hillman...

I'm borrowing their words today...trying to find my own again. I want to go into the land of Judah, but I'm not finding the road. Anyone have a map?

Cave of Adullum--Sara Groves
Speak to me, speak to me in my cave of Adullam.
Reach to me, reach to me. No one cares for my soul.
I thought I saw your kingdom, but it's not going to happen
like I thought it would happen. .
Remind me, remind me of the vision you gave me.
Remind me, remind me what anointing oil is for.
I need to know you're near me.
I need to know you are holding me just as closely .
Chorus: as the day you took my life and gave me a vision,
as the day you poured the oil and gave me a dream.
I can't believe this is happening.
How does a shepherd become a king?


Coming Out of the Stronghold, by Os Hillman

..."Do not stay in the stronghold. Go into the land of Judah"... - 1 Samuel 22:5

David and his fighting men had been hiding in the cave of Adullam. He was fleeing Saul. Many of life's down-and-out had come and joined David's army. David was content to stay in the stronghold of safety. Then, God's prophet came to David and told him that he must leave the stronghold and go into the land of Judah.

When life beats down on us and we get to the place where we want to hide in a cave, God often places people around us who prod us into moving in the right direction. He does not want us to remain in the place of discouragement. He wants us to move into the land of "praise." Judah means "praise."

I recall when I went through a very difficult time. It seemed to drag on and on with no change until finally I wanted to retreat to a cave and forget pressing on. It was a great time of discouragement. A godly man came to me and said, "You must keep moving! There are too many who are depending on you in the Kingdom." I didn't totally understand what he meant at the time. Now I know he was saying that God is preparing each of us to be the vessel He wants to use in the life of another person, but we will never be that vessel if we give up and hide in our cave of discouragement. Not only must we keep moving, we must move into a new realm. Our attitude must move from discouragement to praise. It is when we move past discouragement to praise that we begin living above our problems. Make a decision today to go into the land of Judah.