So...I've been sitting here tonight with one thought on my mind. Actually, one thought that led to another thought that led to others that...well, you get the point. Lost in thought--buried, actually, by an avalanche of sadness and almost-overwhelming brokenness that stemmed from ONE thought. This thought: "I'm alone." Then this one: "I'm alone and lonely." Then: "I'm alone, lonely, and no one knows/cares." Needless to say, it all spiralled downward from that point. I should send out invitations to my big pity party, shouldn't I? ;-)
Today I've been reading the blogs of an old acquaintance...someone I knew in my "former life" (pre-divorce), a VERY long time ago. He and his wife made a deep impact on my life at a time when I didn't really understand much about the Body of Christ concept and what it means to say that we ARE a body...deeply connected and intertwined and fashioned that way for a purpose. They got it. They understood it. They lived it. And I've never forgotten what I learned from them, even though I didn't have the opportunity to spend much time with them. They were a blessing to me then...and now.
Cheryl was diagnosed with cancer in March (she was 48). And she met Jesus face-to-face in September. Jim blogged almost daily from the day of her diagnosis, keeping friends and family updated on the losing battle with cancer, but the ultimate Kingdom "win" for Cheryl. Their faith and trust in God and their unswerving belief in His sovereignty and love is a precious, beautiful story.
So...Jim said the following in June (the emphasis is mine). I read it tonight, amidst the pity-party confetti strewn all over my living room. God, in His timing, is perfect--He somehow (imagine that!!) knew I would need to read these very words tonight. I know He's in the midst of everything in my life...I know there's purpose, even though I can't see it and certainly can't begin to understand it. Maybe this is part of His purpose:
Remember: We won't know Jesus can calm the storm unless we are in a storm. We won't know he can heal the sick unless we are sick. We won't know Jesus will befriend the broken hearted and downcast unless we are friendless and broken hearted. We won't know Jesus can lead us to streams of clear water unless we're lost and thirsty. May God help us stop despairing our situations in life that are negative and begin to see Him work His love through every one of those situations.
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3 comments:
thanks dena....for real
Dena, thanks for being so transparent. At first, your post left me a little speechless, in a good way I think, as I thought of my own brokenness and all the ways I don't have it together, though it may be unknown to others... or maybe it is more obvious than I think. Then I began thinking about the Body of Christ, and the fact that we are all broken, and are united not only in our victories and our joy but also in our brokenness, and somehow in all of that I got a sense of hope. Thanks.
Somehow, I get the feeling that we're "getting" it.
As Erin said in one of her comments, we're pots being cracked in order to show more of His glory...I like that analogy. :-)
I'm feeling pretty cracked right now myself, but I'm starting to really understand how we ARE so united in our brokenness. It's so easy to share the victories with one another, but it's SO much more important to share the not-so-good, because that's where the deepest bonding occurs in the Body.
I'm so grateful for those of you walking this path with me...you may not know all the specifics of my pain, but you're being the hands and feet and voice of Jesus to me right now--and that's what it's all about.
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