Thursday, December 07, 2006
While you're waiting...
...for me to get home from Mississippi, go here: http://www.jdtkwcc.blogspot.com/ and read what Jacob has to say. (A forewarning: he has LOTS to say!! Must be why I like him...he reminds me of me!) I'll have to confess that I haven't read it all myself, but I will digest it all when I have the opportunity.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Preview of coming attractions...
I'm in the midst of preparing for Thanksgiving with my family/friends (I'm cooking--I'm so excited!) and have had NO time to sit down and de-muddle all the thoughts running in circles in my head. Rest assured, there are thoughts there...and some, even, that seem worth sharing.
God's shown me some really interesting things the past couple of weeks and I've enjoyed just standing back and watching as He's peeled some of the outer layers off some of the mysteries of life and allowed me to see that "real" life lurks just below the surface of what we often accept at face value--and we miss so much by doing that.
More later... :-)
God's shown me some really interesting things the past couple of weeks and I've enjoyed just standing back and watching as He's peeled some of the outer layers off some of the mysteries of life and allowed me to see that "real" life lurks just below the surface of what we often accept at face value--and we miss so much by doing that.
More later... :-)
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Happy ?? Feet...
...it just ain't penguin!! ;-)
And THESE are the infamous blue booties, waiting to be draped in suede or covered in paint, glitter, shells, or macaroni!!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Well, I survived...
My feet are in that half-still-numb-from-anesthesia, half-painful state, I can barely keep my eyes open (and won't for very long!) and I'm still freezing, but I'm safely home and lying on my couch--and grateful to be here!
I'm sure I'll have plenty of time in the next couple of days to share all the thoughts that have been running through my head the last couple of days, but for now, I just wanted to say "thanks" to all of you who have prayed for me and encouraged me as I was preparing for surgery. I appreciate it...more than I can express in the few words I can manage to type right now. :-)
Stay tuned for more...
I'm sure I'll have plenty of time in the next couple of days to share all the thoughts that have been running through my head the last couple of days, but for now, I just wanted to say "thanks" to all of you who have prayed for me and encouraged me as I was preparing for surgery. I appreciate it...more than I can express in the few words I can manage to type right now. :-)
Stay tuned for more...
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Racing against time...
...but I'm going to win!
For those of you unfamiliar with my feet (that would be most, if not all, of you I'm relatively certain!), this is their story--the abbreviated edition.
The bottom line is...I have to have surgery. On both feet. Relatively soon. It's minor surgery, at least, if anything involving incisions and chipping and drilling into bones can be called "minor"! I am NOT looking forward to this. My doctor told me that in the "best case scenario", I should take off work for three weeks to fully recuperate (NOT an option!), but he will allow me to return to work after at least three days, wearing those silly boot things.
The OTHER bottom line thing is...I'm going to Mississippi in December to do Katrina relief work (funny/not-so-funny sidebar here: I was at a meeting tonight and shared with some people that I was going to do Katrina relief work in December and one woman looked at me in disbelief and said "STILL? I can't believe it's taking so long." Obviously, SHE has not been to the Gulfport/Biloxi/Pass Christian war zone.)
At any rate, I'm in a race again time here. I need to have the surgery done before I go to Mississippi, because I'm probably going to be on my feet most of the day (I'll be cooking at God's Katrina Kitchen, helping prepare meals for the relief workers/residents of the area who still have no cooking facilities). If I don't have it done immediately, I won't have enough recovery time before the trip.
So, I'm having surgery Tuesday. It's done in the doctor's office, but he brings in an anesthetist and they put me OUT. I'm probably dreading that more than anything...I asked if I could just have a local and he told me that wasn't an option (I asked for that when I had my gallbladder removed, too--same answer!)
Good thing the fashion statement for this fall is...ANYTHING worn with foam boots, eh?! Should be fun trying to drive wearing those things. Can't wait. The GOOD thing is, post-recovery/post-foam boots, I'll be able to wear all of my shoes, instead of just the two pairs that don't cause excruciating pain every time I put them on (think Steve Martin's "Cruel Shoes" story).
For those of you unfamiliar with my feet (that would be most, if not all, of you I'm relatively certain!), this is their story--the abbreviated edition.
The bottom line is...I have to have surgery. On both feet. Relatively soon. It's minor surgery, at least, if anything involving incisions and chipping and drilling into bones can be called "minor"! I am NOT looking forward to this. My doctor told me that in the "best case scenario", I should take off work for three weeks to fully recuperate (NOT an option!), but he will allow me to return to work after at least three days, wearing those silly boot things.
The OTHER bottom line thing is...I'm going to Mississippi in December to do Katrina relief work (funny/not-so-funny sidebar here: I was at a meeting tonight and shared with some people that I was going to do Katrina relief work in December and one woman looked at me in disbelief and said "STILL? I can't believe it's taking so long." Obviously, SHE has not been to the Gulfport/Biloxi/Pass Christian war zone.)
At any rate, I'm in a race again time here. I need to have the surgery done before I go to Mississippi, because I'm probably going to be on my feet most of the day (I'll be cooking at God's Katrina Kitchen, helping prepare meals for the relief workers/residents of the area who still have no cooking facilities). If I don't have it done immediately, I won't have enough recovery time before the trip.
So, I'm having surgery Tuesday. It's done in the doctor's office, but he brings in an anesthetist and they put me OUT. I'm probably dreading that more than anything...I asked if I could just have a local and he told me that wasn't an option (I asked for that when I had my gallbladder removed, too--same answer!)
Good thing the fashion statement for this fall is...ANYTHING worn with foam boots, eh?! Should be fun trying to drive wearing those things. Can't wait. The GOOD thing is, post-recovery/post-foam boots, I'll be able to wear all of my shoes, instead of just the two pairs that don't cause excruciating pain every time I put them on (think Steve Martin's "Cruel Shoes" story).
Saturday, October 28, 2006
The "grammar nazi" in me...
Actually, "spelling nazi" is probably more appropriate in this instance.
If anyone were to ask me my pet peeves, I probably couldn't come up with many off the top of my head, but, rest assured, I DO have them...and most of them probably have to do with grammar and spelling. (Nerd alert!!) One of the BIGGIES is one I see all the time...and it's one that, of course, will breeze right through a spell-check, because it's a "real" word. A real word that is, more often than not, unfortunately, used in place of the CORRECT real word.
And today, it was used by none other than the DIRECTOR of our agency, in an email that went out to literally HUNDREDS (maybe thousands) of people who all now know (silly me--they don't know, because most of them probably don't use the correct word, either!) that she doesn't have a clue. The word is "PIQUED". Not "PEAKED". She said she heard an interesting story that "peaked" her interest. Tell me how something PEAKS your interest...please tell me what that means. Will she never be any more excited about something than she was about this story? That's saying a lot, isn't it?
So says the dictionary:
pique /pik/ [peek] –verb (used with object)
1. to affect with sharp irritation and resentment, esp. by some wound to pride: She was greatly piqued when they refused her invitation.
2. to wound (the pride, vanity, etc.).
3. to excite (interest, curiosity, etc.): Her curiosity was piqued by the gossip.
4. to arouse an emotion or provoke to action: to pique someone to answer a challenge.
peak–verb (used without object)
14. to project in a peak.
15. to attain a peak of activity, development, popularity, etc.: The artist peaked in the 1950s.
If anyone were to ask me my pet peeves, I probably couldn't come up with many off the top of my head, but, rest assured, I DO have them...and most of them probably have to do with grammar and spelling. (Nerd alert!!) One of the BIGGIES is one I see all the time...and it's one that, of course, will breeze right through a spell-check, because it's a "real" word. A real word that is, more often than not, unfortunately, used in place of the CORRECT real word.
And today, it was used by none other than the DIRECTOR of our agency, in an email that went out to literally HUNDREDS (maybe thousands) of people who all now know (silly me--they don't know, because most of them probably don't use the correct word, either!) that she doesn't have a clue. The word is "PIQUED". Not "PEAKED". She said she heard an interesting story that "peaked" her interest. Tell me how something PEAKS your interest...please tell me what that means. Will she never be any more excited about something than she was about this story? That's saying a lot, isn't it?
So says the dictionary:
pique /pik/ [peek] –verb (used with object)
1. to affect with sharp irritation and resentment, esp. by some wound to pride: She was greatly piqued when they refused her invitation.
2. to wound (the pride, vanity, etc.).
3. to excite (interest, curiosity, etc.): Her curiosity was piqued by the gossip.
4. to arouse an emotion or provoke to action: to pique someone to answer a challenge.
peak–verb (used without object)
14. to project in a peak.
15. to attain a peak of activity, development, popularity, etc.: The artist peaked in the 1950s.
Friday, October 27, 2006
The "J"s have it...
Totally random.
I was looking at my list of fellow "cracked pots" (NOT "crackpots"!) just now and realized I have a near-plethora of "J" people--Julie, Jon, Jim, Jacob. Kinda strange, eh?! Maybe I should start looking for some new friends in other parts of the alphabet... ;-)
So why, do you ask, are you "cracked pots"? (Thanks for asking.) I've lifted this analogy from Erin--I think she posted it as a comment here on my blog a couple of weeks ago, or maybe she posted it as a response to a comment I posted on HER blog...at any rate, she said we were all pots getting cracked so we could show more and more of His glory. I have this mental image of me as a rough, unglazed terra cotta jar with a candle glowing inside it...and God is that candle inside, chipping away, trying to break away enough of my hard, rough clay surface so that I will RADIATE with His love and people will want to draw near to bask in that warmth and light.
I was looking at my list of fellow "cracked pots" (NOT "crackpots"!) just now and realized I have a near-plethora of "J" people--Julie, Jon, Jim, Jacob. Kinda strange, eh?! Maybe I should start looking for some new friends in other parts of the alphabet... ;-)
So why, do you ask, are you "cracked pots"? (Thanks for asking.) I've lifted this analogy from Erin--I think she posted it as a comment here on my blog a couple of weeks ago, or maybe she posted it as a response to a comment I posted on HER blog...at any rate, she said we were all pots getting cracked so we could show more and more of His glory. I have this mental image of me as a rough, unglazed terra cotta jar with a candle glowing inside it...and God is that candle inside, chipping away, trying to break away enough of my hard, rough clay surface so that I will RADIATE with His love and people will want to draw near to bask in that warmth and light.
Monday, October 23, 2006
"Poiema" unveiled...
Blame it on Hersch...he asked what "poiema" means. ;-)
From Strong's: Word 4161. 1) that which has been made.2) a work. a) of the works of God as creator. Derived from Word 4160, "poieo". 1) to make
a) with the names of things made, to produce, construct, form, fashion, etc.
b) to be the authors of, the cause c) to make ready, to prepare...etc.
It's the word used in Ephesians 2:10--"We are His workmanship (poiema)". His creation. His handiwork. Something He has produced and made ready. Good stuff, eh?
That's the "technical" stuff. The personal story behind it is:
"Poiema" is the title of one of Michael Card's CDs from a few years ago (1994). Since I'm not a Greek scholar, that was my first exposure to the word. Being a "wordaholic", though, I DID go immediately and look up the meaning. :-)
One of the songs on the CD is called "Poem of Your Life". I'm trying to find the lyrics and, of course, can't. At the moment. I WILL find them and I'll post them, but for now, I'll just post part of the liner notes...some of his comments about the purpose behind the music.
''The Bible tells us that we are God's masterpieces (poiema in Greek); not only creatures, but His creations, His poems (Eph 2:10). We are living epistles (2 Cor 3:3). And so, our lives are meant to be listened to, because it is God who is speaking into and out of and through the symphony of the years, and the masterpiece of a lifetime. "
Being a writer/poet/musician sort, I LOVED the fact that, in a way, I, as God's created work, am a poem...my life is a poem, a song that He's written for the world to hear. And I might be a simple short, sweet (I hope!) song, but I'm also part of this huge, magnificent, overwhelmingly beautiful SYMPHONY that spans heaven and earth and all our lifetimes--my little part in the symphony may be just that (little), but when you're listening to an orchestra play, sometimes, above the trumpeting brass and the resonating drum, you hear the briefest, sweetest trill of a flute...and it outshines everything for a second. I want my life to sing His song...the song that He's put in me to sing. And I hope I'm not off-key...
From Strong's: Word 4161. 1) that which has been made.2) a work. a) of the works of God as creator. Derived from Word 4160, "poieo". 1) to make
a) with the names of things made, to produce, construct, form, fashion, etc.
b) to be the authors of, the cause c) to make ready, to prepare...etc.
It's the word used in Ephesians 2:10--"We are His workmanship (poiema)". His creation. His handiwork. Something He has produced and made ready. Good stuff, eh?
That's the "technical" stuff. The personal story behind it is:
"Poiema" is the title of one of Michael Card's CDs from a few years ago (1994). Since I'm not a Greek scholar, that was my first exposure to the word. Being a "wordaholic", though, I DID go immediately and look up the meaning. :-)
One of the songs on the CD is called "Poem of Your Life". I'm trying to find the lyrics and, of course, can't. At the moment. I WILL find them and I'll post them, but for now, I'll just post part of the liner notes...some of his comments about the purpose behind the music.
''The Bible tells us that we are God's masterpieces (poiema in Greek); not only creatures, but His creations, His poems (Eph 2:10). We are living epistles (2 Cor 3:3). And so, our lives are meant to be listened to, because it is God who is speaking into and out of and through the symphony of the years, and the masterpiece of a lifetime. "
Being a writer/poet/musician sort, I LOVED the fact that, in a way, I, as God's created work, am a poem...my life is a poem, a song that He's written for the world to hear. And I might be a simple short, sweet (I hope!) song, but I'm also part of this huge, magnificent, overwhelmingly beautiful SYMPHONY that spans heaven and earth and all our lifetimes--my little part in the symphony may be just that (little), but when you're listening to an orchestra play, sometimes, above the trumpeting brass and the resonating drum, you hear the briefest, sweetest trill of a flute...and it outshines everything for a second. I want my life to sing His song...the song that He's put in me to sing. And I hope I'm not off-key...
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Accountability matters...
So. I got called on something today. By someone for whom I care very much. Someone whom I respect. Someone whom I want to respect me...and my integrity.
This was one of those little "gray area" things...in all honesty, it was nothing illegal, sinful, or otherwise morally wrong (although I'm quite capable of all those things). But. It WAS questionable. And I was questioned. I have NEVER liked gray. I'm liking it even less these days.
I find myself talking a lot about accountability--mostly bemoaning the fact that I don't have the accountability in my life that I want to have. So, did it, then, feel good to be confronted? Nope. I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach.
But...someone held me accountable. Made me take a long, hard look at a foolish choice and the resulting consequences. Made me understand how others are sometimes hurt by my rash decisions. And I can honestly say "thanks".
This was one of those little "gray area" things...in all honesty, it was nothing illegal, sinful, or otherwise morally wrong (although I'm quite capable of all those things). But. It WAS questionable. And I was questioned. I have NEVER liked gray. I'm liking it even less these days.
I find myself talking a lot about accountability--mostly bemoaning the fact that I don't have the accountability in my life that I want to have. So, did it, then, feel good to be confronted? Nope. I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach.
But...someone held me accountable. Made me take a long, hard look at a foolish choice and the resulting consequences. Made me understand how others are sometimes hurt by my rash decisions. And I can honestly say "thanks".
Sunday, October 15, 2006
"The God of the Valley"
From Os Hillman's "Today God is First" daily e-devotional for today....
...God often gives us a picture of our future so that we will remember this picture when we are being tested to trust Him in the valley. This picture usually does not reveal how God intends to bring about the visions for our life.
However, none of us really derive the character qualities God desires for our lives while we are on the mountain. It is in the valley where the fruit is planted and harvested. It cannot grow on the mountain; it must grow in the valley. God is a God of the mountain, but he is even more a God of the valley. In the valley, it is more difficult to see ahead; the clouds often cover the valley and limit our sight.
Joseph was thrust into a deep valley that left him wondering if the God of his father had forsaken him. Jesus hoped that He might be able to avoid the valley that caused Him to sweat blood. There is a valley that each of us must enter, usually unwillingly, in order to experience the God of the valley-and to experience His faithfulness in the valley. Once we have spent time in this valley, we come out with something we would have never gained if we had not entered it. The valley brings much fruit into our lives so that we might plant seeds into the lives of others.
God does not waste valley experiences. If we are faithful in the valley, we will enter a new dimension with God that we never thought possible. There is a harvest of wisdom and virtue that can only be grown in the valley.
Lord, help me be faithful in the valley.
...God often gives us a picture of our future so that we will remember this picture when we are being tested to trust Him in the valley. This picture usually does not reveal how God intends to bring about the visions for our life.
However, none of us really derive the character qualities God desires for our lives while we are on the mountain. It is in the valley where the fruit is planted and harvested. It cannot grow on the mountain; it must grow in the valley. God is a God of the mountain, but he is even more a God of the valley. In the valley, it is more difficult to see ahead; the clouds often cover the valley and limit our sight.
Joseph was thrust into a deep valley that left him wondering if the God of his father had forsaken him. Jesus hoped that He might be able to avoid the valley that caused Him to sweat blood. There is a valley that each of us must enter, usually unwillingly, in order to experience the God of the valley-and to experience His faithfulness in the valley. Once we have spent time in this valley, we come out with something we would have never gained if we had not entered it. The valley brings much fruit into our lives so that we might plant seeds into the lives of others.
God does not waste valley experiences. If we are faithful in the valley, we will enter a new dimension with God that we never thought possible. There is a harvest of wisdom and virtue that can only be grown in the valley.
Lord, help me be faithful in the valley.
Friday, October 13, 2006
God is always on time...
So...I've been sitting here tonight with one thought on my mind. Actually, one thought that led to another thought that led to others that...well, you get the point. Lost in thought--buried, actually, by an avalanche of sadness and almost-overwhelming brokenness that stemmed from ONE thought. This thought: "I'm alone." Then this one: "I'm alone and lonely." Then: "I'm alone, lonely, and no one knows/cares." Needless to say, it all spiralled downward from that point. I should send out invitations to my big pity party, shouldn't I? ;-)
Today I've been reading the blogs of an old acquaintance...someone I knew in my "former life" (pre-divorce), a VERY long time ago. He and his wife made a deep impact on my life at a time when I didn't really understand much about the Body of Christ concept and what it means to say that we ARE a body...deeply connected and intertwined and fashioned that way for a purpose. They got it. They understood it. They lived it. And I've never forgotten what I learned from them, even though I didn't have the opportunity to spend much time with them. They were a blessing to me then...and now.
Cheryl was diagnosed with cancer in March (she was 48). And she met Jesus face-to-face in September. Jim blogged almost daily from the day of her diagnosis, keeping friends and family updated on the losing battle with cancer, but the ultimate Kingdom "win" for Cheryl. Their faith and trust in God and their unswerving belief in His sovereignty and love is a precious, beautiful story.
So...Jim said the following in June (the emphasis is mine). I read it tonight, amidst the pity-party confetti strewn all over my living room. God, in His timing, is perfect--He somehow (imagine that!!) knew I would need to read these very words tonight. I know He's in the midst of everything in my life...I know there's purpose, even though I can't see it and certainly can't begin to understand it. Maybe this is part of His purpose:
Remember: We won't know Jesus can calm the storm unless we are in a storm. We won't know he can heal the sick unless we are sick. We won't know Jesus will befriend the broken hearted and downcast unless we are friendless and broken hearted. We won't know Jesus can lead us to streams of clear water unless we're lost and thirsty. May God help us stop despairing our situations in life that are negative and begin to see Him work His love through every one of those situations.
Today I've been reading the blogs of an old acquaintance...someone I knew in my "former life" (pre-divorce), a VERY long time ago. He and his wife made a deep impact on my life at a time when I didn't really understand much about the Body of Christ concept and what it means to say that we ARE a body...deeply connected and intertwined and fashioned that way for a purpose. They got it. They understood it. They lived it. And I've never forgotten what I learned from them, even though I didn't have the opportunity to spend much time with them. They were a blessing to me then...and now.
Cheryl was diagnosed with cancer in March (she was 48). And she met Jesus face-to-face in September. Jim blogged almost daily from the day of her diagnosis, keeping friends and family updated on the losing battle with cancer, but the ultimate Kingdom "win" for Cheryl. Their faith and trust in God and their unswerving belief in His sovereignty and love is a precious, beautiful story.
So...Jim said the following in June (the emphasis is mine). I read it tonight, amidst the pity-party confetti strewn all over my living room. God, in His timing, is perfect--He somehow (imagine that!!) knew I would need to read these very words tonight. I know He's in the midst of everything in my life...I know there's purpose, even though I can't see it and certainly can't begin to understand it. Maybe this is part of His purpose:
Remember: We won't know Jesus can calm the storm unless we are in a storm. We won't know he can heal the sick unless we are sick. We won't know Jesus will befriend the broken hearted and downcast unless we are friendless and broken hearted. We won't know Jesus can lead us to streams of clear water unless we're lost and thirsty. May God help us stop despairing our situations in life that are negative and begin to see Him work His love through every one of those situations.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Purpose and reason...
It seems like God often speaks to me most clearly through music...maybe that's just because there's always music playing in my world--if I'm not listening to my CD player or Ipod or radio, the most recent tracks are replaying themselves over and over in my head...there's a lyric and a tune to fit every mood and situation.
So...I recently made a compilation CD of songs which have been constant companions through some of my darker days--songs which remind me that, even though life is, at times, incredibly tough, and God seems all-too-distant and aloof, nothing (NOTHING) happens without His knowledge.
I primarily choose to believe that most of the crap I have to slog through is a result of (either myself or someone else) stepping out of His perfect/best plan and into those "everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial" areas which lead to walking through a lot of brambles and bogs to get back where I'm supposed to be, but...I don't think that's really always the case.
Back to my compilation CD--one of the songs I included is a song by Layton Howerton called "Beauty Marks". Of course I can't find the liner notes from his CD, so I can't post the entire song, but I'll post the pertinent lines. It's funny how you listen to something hundreds of times and then one day, out of the blue, the words just punch you in the stomach so hard that they nearly knock you to the ground.
The song is about the "beauty marks" God leaves on us through His work in our lives...the things that other people perceive as scars. The chorus says:
Bring it on, bring it on,
Whatever this day may bring...it on.
These wrinkles above my brow
Are not the product of a scowl,
It came from being seasoned,
Sifted with purpose and reason,
So bring it on, bring it on,
Whatever this day may bring...it on.
If you look upon my face,
See flaws in this canvas of grace,
They're simply God's beauty marks.
So, I've loved this song for about two years and have listened to it often. It's always given me peace in the midst of the storm (one of the verses talks about the "coming storm"). Yesterday, I was listening to it and the words "sifted with purpose and reason" hit me HARD. It was like I was driving into a neon billboard with two huge words flashing in my face: PURPOSE. REASON.
I haven't had much to say lately because I've been in a place where I just didn't know WHAT to say...I'm still not sure that I know. I don't think I can describe the "sifting" process I've been going through the past week or so...it's just been TOUGH. Part of the reason I made that CD in the first place was to have a constant reminder of God's presence when I can't feel Him there in the dark with me....and it's been DARK.
I'm strangely comforted by the fact that God HAS chosen to sift me...purposefully, deliberately, knowingly...and for His reasons, whatever they may be. That knowledge is a place of peace. And I need peace right now.
Bring it on.
So...I recently made a compilation CD of songs which have been constant companions through some of my darker days--songs which remind me that, even though life is, at times, incredibly tough, and God seems all-too-distant and aloof, nothing (NOTHING) happens without His knowledge.
I primarily choose to believe that most of the crap I have to slog through is a result of (either myself or someone else) stepping out of His perfect/best plan and into those "everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial" areas which lead to walking through a lot of brambles and bogs to get back where I'm supposed to be, but...I don't think that's really always the case.
Back to my compilation CD--one of the songs I included is a song by Layton Howerton called "Beauty Marks". Of course I can't find the liner notes from his CD, so I can't post the entire song, but I'll post the pertinent lines. It's funny how you listen to something hundreds of times and then one day, out of the blue, the words just punch you in the stomach so hard that they nearly knock you to the ground.
The song is about the "beauty marks" God leaves on us through His work in our lives...the things that other people perceive as scars. The chorus says:
Bring it on, bring it on,
Whatever this day may bring...it on.
These wrinkles above my brow
Are not the product of a scowl,
It came from being seasoned,
Sifted with purpose and reason,
So bring it on, bring it on,
Whatever this day may bring...it on.
If you look upon my face,
See flaws in this canvas of grace,
They're simply God's beauty marks.
So, I've loved this song for about two years and have listened to it often. It's always given me peace in the midst of the storm (one of the verses talks about the "coming storm"). Yesterday, I was listening to it and the words "sifted with purpose and reason" hit me HARD. It was like I was driving into a neon billboard with two huge words flashing in my face: PURPOSE. REASON.
I haven't had much to say lately because I've been in a place where I just didn't know WHAT to say...I'm still not sure that I know. I don't think I can describe the "sifting" process I've been going through the past week or so...it's just been TOUGH. Part of the reason I made that CD in the first place was to have a constant reminder of God's presence when I can't feel Him there in the dark with me....and it's been DARK.
I'm strangely comforted by the fact that God HAS chosen to sift me...purposefully, deliberately, knowingly...and for His reasons, whatever they may be. That knowledge is a place of peace. And I need peace right now.
Bring it on.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Quoting Andrew Peterson....
...one of my favorite things to do. :-)
Seems pretty appropriate, since several of us seem to be focused right now on the whole plowing and planting and weeding and harvesting process going on in our lives.
This is a great song all the way through, but...there's one line (you won't have any problem recognizing it!) that just speaks volumes to me and always has.
The bottom line is...weedy or not, in full-bloom or scraggly, bearing an abundant harvest or just a few dried-up pieces of fruit--His grace is STILL SUFFICIENT for me. His love covers a multitude of...well, weeds. And wormy fruit. Don't get me wrong...I want to lay abundance at His feet to honor what He's done to my heart, but it's still ME that he loves. Period.
JUST AS I AM--Andrew Peterson
What's that on the ground?
It's what's left of my heart
Somebody named Jesus
Broke it to pieces
And planted the shards
And they're coming up green
They're coming in bloom
I can hardly believe
This is all coming true
Just as I am and just as I was
Just as I will be He loves me, He does
He showed me the day that He shed His own blood
He loves me, oh, He loves me, He does
All of my life
I've held on to this fear
Its thistles and vines
Ensnare and entwine
What flowers appeared
It's the fear that I'll fall
One too many times
It's the fear that His love
Is no better than mine
(but He says that)
Just as I am and just as I was
Just as I will be He loves me, He does
He showed me the day that He shed His own blood
He loves me, oh, He loves me, He does
He loves me, oh, He loves me, He does
It's time now to harvest
What little that grew
This man they call Jesus
Who planted the seeds
Has come for the fruit
And the best that I've got
Isn't nearly enough
He's glad for the crop
But it's me that He loves
Just as I am and just as I was
Just as I will be He loves me, He does
The same as the day that He shed His own blood
He loves me, oh, He loves me, He does
Seems pretty appropriate, since several of us seem to be focused right now on the whole plowing and planting and weeding and harvesting process going on in our lives.
This is a great song all the way through, but...there's one line (you won't have any problem recognizing it!) that just speaks volumes to me and always has.
The bottom line is...weedy or not, in full-bloom or scraggly, bearing an abundant harvest or just a few dried-up pieces of fruit--His grace is STILL SUFFICIENT for me. His love covers a multitude of...well, weeds. And wormy fruit. Don't get me wrong...I want to lay abundance at His feet to honor what He's done to my heart, but it's still ME that he loves. Period.
JUST AS I AM--Andrew Peterson
What's that on the ground?
It's what's left of my heart
Somebody named Jesus
Broke it to pieces
And planted the shards
And they're coming up green
They're coming in bloom
I can hardly believe
This is all coming true
Just as I am and just as I was
Just as I will be He loves me, He does
He showed me the day that He shed His own blood
He loves me, oh, He loves me, He does
All of my life
I've held on to this fear
Its thistles and vines
Ensnare and entwine
What flowers appeared
It's the fear that I'll fall
One too many times
It's the fear that His love
Is no better than mine
(but He says that)
Just as I am and just as I was
Just as I will be He loves me, He does
He showed me the day that He shed His own blood
He loves me, oh, He loves me, He does
He loves me, oh, He loves me, He does
It's time now to harvest
What little that grew
This man they call Jesus
Who planted the seeds
Has come for the fruit
And the best that I've got
Isn't nearly enough
He's glad for the crop
But it's me that He loves
Just as I am and just as I was
Just as I will be He loves me, He does
The same as the day that He shed His own blood
He loves me, oh, He loves me, He does
Sunday, September 24, 2006
The tilling and the redeeming
So...God is obviously up to something in my life. Not really sure what it is right now. Not really sure if I even WANT to know, from the little "previews of coming attractions" I've experienced so far. There's a deep sense of...almost foreboding, but if it's GOD, can it really be that bad (in the long run, anyway)?
I KNOW that God is in the junk recycling business...He's the ultimate finder of long-forgotten attic treasures--and amazingly adept at cleaning, polishing and fixing that which is dirty and tarnished and broken. He should be, shouldn't he, since he's also the designer and creator of what we've allowed this world to trash and toss aside like yesterday's news? He alone intimately knows the purpose for which our broken-piece-of-crap selves were created.
And, like my friend Hersch, I've been sensing that God wants to till the soil of my heart and dig out some of those deep-rooted weeds that are choking out a beautiful and bountiful harvest...I'm not unwilling to yield a bountiful harvest, of course, but I've wielded the tiller in the garden in my backyard enough to know that plowing the soil is never a pretty thing, although there's not much more beautiful to a farmgirl-at-heart than a freshly plowed field, just waiting to be planted. And, isn't it amazing what lies just beyond the hard, dried surface of a fallow, weedy field?
I'm not really sure where all this is going...maybe I just need to sort out some thoughts and see in black and white what I'm sensing the Lord is telling me to prepare for. If I'm worth tilling and worth cleaning and polishing and fixing, God must see beauty and potential in me...and that's worth knowing. :-)
I KNOW that God is in the junk recycling business...He's the ultimate finder of long-forgotten attic treasures--and amazingly adept at cleaning, polishing and fixing that which is dirty and tarnished and broken. He should be, shouldn't he, since he's also the designer and creator of what we've allowed this world to trash and toss aside like yesterday's news? He alone intimately knows the purpose for which our broken-piece-of-crap selves were created.
And, like my friend Hersch, I've been sensing that God wants to till the soil of my heart and dig out some of those deep-rooted weeds that are choking out a beautiful and bountiful harvest...I'm not unwilling to yield a bountiful harvest, of course, but I've wielded the tiller in the garden in my backyard enough to know that plowing the soil is never a pretty thing, although there's not much more beautiful to a farmgirl-at-heart than a freshly plowed field, just waiting to be planted. And, isn't it amazing what lies just beyond the hard, dried surface of a fallow, weedy field?
I'm not really sure where all this is going...maybe I just need to sort out some thoughts and see in black and white what I'm sensing the Lord is telling me to prepare for. If I'm worth tilling and worth cleaning and polishing and fixing, God must see beauty and potential in me...and that's worth knowing. :-)
What Erin said...
I'm lifting some words from my friend Erin's blog until I get derusted. Amazing how God leads you to the right places at the right time for the words you need to hear. (Thanks Erin and Hersch...and the "total stranger" whose words Erin posted on HER blog.)
"I'm excited to see what God has for tomorrow...how he redeems the brokenness all around me into something far more beautiful than what I ever thought to ask Him for..." (words from the total stranger)
This idea of redeeming what is broken...has been coming up all around me recently. A song I heard in the car today:
"So lay down the sword
And put away the doctrine
Love a little more, love a little more
‘Cause everybody’s broken..."
And something Bev said to me awhile ago...She had just finished pointing out a character issue I have...and, knowing that I'm a mel-head, she qualified her observation with another piece of wisdom that I've held in my pocket ever since: "Don't go to the opposite extreme, now...God doesn't want to change your tendency, He wants to redeem it..."
I guess this is kind of like God's business--it's what he's all about: buying back our broken, garage-sale junk (this who-would-ever-want-this-piece-of-crap-broken-toaster-but-I'm-going-to-put-a-price-on-it-and-see-what-happens junk)...and somehow, miraculously, magically, wonderfully, turning it into something beautiful. That's the business God is in. I don't get it, but it makes me so glad, because I'm one of those broken things that he's bought and is in the process of turning into something worthwhile.
Thanks, Jesus.
"I'm excited to see what God has for tomorrow...how he redeems the brokenness all around me into something far more beautiful than what I ever thought to ask Him for..." (words from the total stranger)
This idea of redeeming what is broken...has been coming up all around me recently. A song I heard in the car today:
"So lay down the sword
And put away the doctrine
Love a little more, love a little more
‘Cause everybody’s broken..."
And something Bev said to me awhile ago...She had just finished pointing out a character issue I have...and, knowing that I'm a mel-head, she qualified her observation with another piece of wisdom that I've held in my pocket ever since: "Don't go to the opposite extreme, now...God doesn't want to change your tendency, He wants to redeem it..."
I guess this is kind of like God's business--it's what he's all about: buying back our broken, garage-sale junk (this who-would-ever-want-this-piece-of-crap-broken-toaster-but-I'm-going-to-put-a-price-on-it-and-see-what-happens junk)...and somehow, miraculously, magically, wonderfully, turning it into something beautiful. That's the business God is in. I don't get it, but it makes me so glad, because I'm one of those broken things that he's bought and is in the process of turning into something worthwhile.
Thanks, Jesus.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Fun stuff...
| Your Personality Profile |
 You are very impulsive - every day is a new adventure.However, you do put some thought behind all your actions.Still, you do tend to shock and offend people from time to time! |
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
The speck of dust who enthralls You....
I'm just stuck on that line from one of Charlie Dodrill's songs--God has really been speaking to me through Charlie's music and through this particular song and that particular line in...well, particular.
Pastor Joey preached a sermon a few weeks ago entitled "It's Not About Me" and I guess I really needed to hear that...and, apparently, I need to hear it more than once, because it's one of those subjects that seems to be randomly and "coincidentally" popping up everywhere I go (I don't believe in coincidence, if you didn't already know that). I know that I forget sometimes that worship is...well, WORSHIP. Adoration and praise to the Creator who loves me and gives me immeasurable, undeserved grace--why wouldn't I adore Him? And yet, so many times, I find myself walking into church, hoping I'm going to "get" something out of the music and the sermon...and not giving a thought to what I'm going to give to Him. Sometimes I have the right attitude, sometimes my heart's been in a state of worship all week and church is just a place of corporately continuing what I've already been doing alone, but not always. So, I've been asking God to remind me...and He's been doing just that.
And one of those reminders has been through this song, "Under the Impression". People who are around me much are probably going to get tired of hearing me say "Listen to Charlie Dodrill. Go buy his CD...NOW!" I realize not everyone's wired like I am (be grateful!) and maybe God doesn't speak to you as much or in quite the same way as He does to me through music, but...I'm going to share the lyrics of this song, because I think it's an incredible reminder of the sovereignty of God and the UNsovereignty of me, but...even though I AM a "speck of dust" to Him, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made--made in HIS image and He loves me just the way He's created me--it just thrills my heart to think that *I* enthrall the Lord...wow. How could it get any better than that? I spend my time sometimes trying to impress people around me...and that's so NOTHING compared to the fact that the Lord knows everything about me and loves me--LOVES me...loves ME. Think on that for awhile--God loves YOU...for everything you are and even despite everything you're not.
"Under The Impression"--Charlie Dodrill
Lord I have trouble understanding anything--
Your deeds much less Your ways.
Confused by what I read and even what I sing
Will it be thus always?
I think perhaps my introspection is to blame
I think so selfishly.
I long for wisdom, but I'm still playing the game,
For I am under the impression that it's all for me.
Oh God, Your glory should be what consumes my heart
Hallowed be Thy name.
But I'm convinced I am the whole, not just a part,
Much to my great shame.
I need the vista from the fiery crystal sea,
I need it desperately.
If my perspective stays, I'll never find the key,
For I am under the impression that it's all for me.
Oh Lord to be consumed with Thee,
I want to be wise.
My Martha-mind is concerned about many things,
While disregarding the one.
Pre-occupied with all the things that have to do with me,
Not with Heaven's Son.
Lord, how am I supposed to apprehend anything
While I'm so big in my eyes?
Like Ptolemy, thinking all the worlds revolve around me,
I'm in for such a surprise.
Surprise me...
Lord, I wait for You to change the view
from where I'm standing.
To see You for who You are
And see me as the speck of dust who enthralls You,
Not some shining star.
And from my place prostrate down in the dust
I'll lift my gaze, Your face I'll see.
And for the first time in my life I will be
No longer under the impression that it's all for me.
Then I will be
Consumed with Thee,
At last I will be...
Wise.
No longer under the impression that it's all for me.
Pastor Joey preached a sermon a few weeks ago entitled "It's Not About Me" and I guess I really needed to hear that...and, apparently, I need to hear it more than once, because it's one of those subjects that seems to be randomly and "coincidentally" popping up everywhere I go (I don't believe in coincidence, if you didn't already know that). I know that I forget sometimes that worship is...well, WORSHIP. Adoration and praise to the Creator who loves me and gives me immeasurable, undeserved grace--why wouldn't I adore Him? And yet, so many times, I find myself walking into church, hoping I'm going to "get" something out of the music and the sermon...and not giving a thought to what I'm going to give to Him. Sometimes I have the right attitude, sometimes my heart's been in a state of worship all week and church is just a place of corporately continuing what I've already been doing alone, but not always. So, I've been asking God to remind me...and He's been doing just that.
And one of those reminders has been through this song, "Under the Impression". People who are around me much are probably going to get tired of hearing me say "Listen to Charlie Dodrill. Go buy his CD...NOW!" I realize not everyone's wired like I am (be grateful!) and maybe God doesn't speak to you as much or in quite the same way as He does to me through music, but...I'm going to share the lyrics of this song, because I think it's an incredible reminder of the sovereignty of God and the UNsovereignty of me, but...even though I AM a "speck of dust" to Him, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made--made in HIS image and He loves me just the way He's created me--it just thrills my heart to think that *I* enthrall the Lord...wow. How could it get any better than that? I spend my time sometimes trying to impress people around me...and that's so NOTHING compared to the fact that the Lord knows everything about me and loves me--LOVES me...loves ME. Think on that for awhile--God loves YOU...for everything you are and even despite everything you're not.
"Under The Impression"--Charlie Dodrill
Lord I have trouble understanding anything--
Your deeds much less Your ways.
Confused by what I read and even what I sing
Will it be thus always?
I think perhaps my introspection is to blame
I think so selfishly.
I long for wisdom, but I'm still playing the game,
For I am under the impression that it's all for me.
Oh God, Your glory should be what consumes my heart
Hallowed be Thy name.
But I'm convinced I am the whole, not just a part,
Much to my great shame.
I need the vista from the fiery crystal sea,
I need it desperately.
If my perspective stays, I'll never find the key,
For I am under the impression that it's all for me.
Oh Lord to be consumed with Thee,
I want to be wise.
My Martha-mind is concerned about many things,
While disregarding the one.
Pre-occupied with all the things that have to do with me,
Not with Heaven's Son.
Lord, how am I supposed to apprehend anything
While I'm so big in my eyes?
Like Ptolemy, thinking all the worlds revolve around me,
I'm in for such a surprise.
Surprise me...
Lord, I wait for You to change the view
from where I'm standing.
To see You for who You are
And see me as the speck of dust who enthralls You,
Not some shining star.
And from my place prostrate down in the dust
I'll lift my gaze, Your face I'll see.
And for the first time in my life I will be
No longer under the impression that it's all for me.
Then I will be
Consumed with Thee,
At last I will be...
Wise.
No longer under the impression that it's all for me.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Stay tuned...
I haven't left the building...and I really DO have some new things to say--I just haven't had the time to sit down and unjumble my jumbled-up thoughts. Life has been good and bad, really sad and really sweet, and just totally exhausting the past week or so. But in the midst of the sad and bad, God has been good and...PRESENT. In some really awesome ways. And I'm really grateful...I never want to lose sight of how blessed I am to have a Father who loves me so deeply and so wildly and so personally. He is amazing.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Another one....
| You Should Be A Poet |
 |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
